


Why Am I Here

by talentedSpoon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Communism, Dirk and Bro portrayed as the same person, Isolation, M/M, Strider worthy language (swearing), dysutopia, massive swag, totalitarianism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 04:44:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talentedSpoon/pseuds/talentedSpoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They would come when you least expected it, and invite themselves in with a swift kick through your front door – which is why thunder frequently woke everyone in the city... The possibility was a constant fear.</p><p>Somewhere down in me, and I'm not sure when, I had started to think that maybe this was not how things were supposed to be."</p><p>-</p><p>Dave escapes from a communist society tucked away on the hill because he can't take it anymore. A boy about his age named John finds him and takes him and his escaped family home with him- he looked as if he hadn't had food in days, and that was a pretty accurate estimate. John teaches Dave about what the outside world is like.. Dave falls in love with more than just this new society.</p><p>Tags and ratings will change</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Land of Fear and Trees

This is the third night in a row that I've woken up on the floor. It has been stormy for days and any crack of thunder that happens too close startles me into hurdling myself off of the bed – intent on getting away from my room – before I realize that it's only mother nature giving me an early wake-up call. A resonating thud from the other side of my wall tells me that our neighbor had the same problem, and I can hear the older lady across the hall grumbling, likely having just recovered from a similar experience. It's nights like these when everyone wakes up, because our ears have been trained for self defense. If the Commission decided that someone had done anything as an act against the Whole, we were to be punished. They would come when you least expected it, and invite themselves in with a swift kick through your front door – which is why thunder frequently woke everyone in the city. All sounds anywhere near the tenor of wood collapsing would wake the entire complex, and subject all of its residents into a fight or flight state. If the Commission took you, you were not coming back. The possibility was a constant fear.

Needless to say, no one has had much sleep the last few days.

Somewhere down in me, and I'm not sure when, I had started to think that maybe this was not how things were suppose to be. That we were meant to have more freedom than this, and not fear the sounds in the night. My comrades always assure me otherwise, that it's all for our own good, but I'm starting to think that they only say that because, like myself, they're all scared. They've lived their entire lives as part of the Whole, under direct command, and wouldn't know how to handle free will if they even had it. Either that, or they're just scared shitless that the Commission will find them if they say anything other than praise for the Whole and the Commission and of comrades and all that.

I walk to my window to look out once more, like I had been doing each night since the storm started. The full storm had yet to creep into our valley, so it's not raining, but the Commission said it would come.

Weather was usually something the Commission was never wrong about, but all that there is to see at the moment is a plastering of ugly, green tinted clouds hovering above, with the occasional crack of lightning darting out and abusing whatever it pleases. Including our mental states. All that there is to see until the rain comes are these clouds. And lightning. And trees.

Lots, and lots of trees.

The Commission had always told us that there was nothing beyond this city; that we were alone because lesser minds had started a war for some 'greedy independence' thing long ago, and only those dedicated to the Whole had survived. To me, that's always been hard to believe. The world is supposedly massive, but we're the only ones left, our small city? Bullshit. I have hit the point of disillusionment, I am done believing in the Commission, and I have started to wonder more and more about what could be beyond those trees.

Surely there couldn't be just more trees, could there? An endless void of green that would render no suitable condition to live in? This place can't be my only option. I am sick of the fear, sick of the worry, sick of the anxiety and sick of the Whole, although the thought of telling anyone here that makes me feel nauseous.

Tonight, my frayed nerves have finally snapped. I want out, and I want out bad. The only thing that's stopping me from running out right now into the dark abyss are the security cameras, the storm, and the fear that perhaps there isn't anything beyond those trees. Not only would the Commission likely find me, but what would I be risking my life for? Trees?

Another dash of thunder rumbles through the building, and I hear a creak as my sister Rose jolts out of her sleep, tumbling off the bed across from mine. Her eyes are lit up in anxiety when she sees my silhouette in the window, but she visibly relaxes as her eyes adjust to the darkness and she realizes it's me.

That was another reason I didn't want to leave; I couldn't leave my brother and sisters, and I wasn't quite sure of their opinion of the Whole. If I had asked them to come with me -– to risk their lives –- they may be willing, but if they weren't they would likely report me. Many people had reported their family. Many were sickeningly loyal to the force they feared the most. I could never turn any of my family into the Commission in cold blood like that, and I would like to believe that they felt the same toward me, but there is no way to really know without putting my life on the line and telling them what I really feel about our 'grand old _Whole_.'

Rose stands from where she had been laying on the floor, walking over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder for comfort. She has always been calm when it came to the Commission, almost like she wasn't afraid of them. I really envy her. We can't even say our own names in public, in fear that the Commission would take it as some act against the Whole – we aren't even supposed to have names, although some people did. Only last names are allowed so that people could tell who's related.

Using a first name here is akin to blasphemy here. A first name means that you believe that we are not one, and that you think that you needed some unique identifier to show it.

We were probably given names because our parents had a hard time addressing four kids by “hey, you there” all the time. They called us our names in the house infrequently, but only in the house, and there was a silent agreement to never use them ourselves. Likely because of all the stuff they drill into our heads here about needing to be “one with the Whole.” Slipping up and using a name would draw suspicion.

I use my family's names in my head, and when we're alone together. I'm not “one” with any shithead around here. I can't stand the idea of protecting a group that makes you shake in terror every moment of your life. It's so wrong in so many ways.

But, as of right now, that's my life. A wrong existence of perpetual fear that won't even leave me as I reflect on myself in peace in my own home.

I stand there a long time, just staring out the window and thinking to myself. I momentarily forget that I'm not alone.

I should have known better than to think that Rose wouldn't start prodding me about what was bothering me, and from her sideways stare I could tell that she was silently asking. She could always tell. I left her without a response, until she finally broke the silence.  
  
“Do either of us need to point out the obvious tension here before we can discuss it?”  
  
“Yup.”

“Stubborn,” she sighs, finally dropping her hand from my shoulder, “alright, then. There's obvious tension. Discuss.”

I paused for a moment, the idea of running through those trees and never coming back appealing to me, but slowly dying in my heart as I lose confidence. No. A Strider is always confident, Dirk made sure I knew that while growing up. Maybe it wasn't really a loss of a feeling, but more of a gaining of dread, apprehension at the possibility of punishment.

Rose snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Strider, have you spaced out before the conversation has even started?”

Still hesitant, I force myself into saying what is on my mind before I can chicken out again. “Did you know that there's some old guy that goes to feed the robins at that bench down there every day at the same time?”

Well, that wasn't exactly what I had wanted to say.

Alright, scratch that. That was totally not what I had wanted to say.

Maybe she won't notice.

“..I would take a moment to analyze exactly why you thought that was a relevant thing to note, but I'm already sure that both of us know that wasn't what you had intended to get off your mind.”

Dammit.

“Fuck, Rose, why the hell do you have to be so perceptive all the time?” I flinch as her name leaves my mouth. Even when it's just us, I have only ever slipped with names every so often. Since we were born, I had never heard any of my siblings use our names. I'm the only screwed up child.

She seemed to visibly tense as I flinch, and she turns to face me more directly. The blood starts to drain from my face; deep down I feel like she feels the same way as I do about this whole city. I've made every note in favor of the option for months as I've tried to figure out what she's thinking. She's smart, she has to want out of this, doesn't she? Or maybe my way of thinking is just stupid. Maybe I'm just some greedy bastard who wants to choose what the hell I do and not be afraid of doing it all I damn well please.

“..You're not happy here, are you, Dave?” she states with a sadness in her tone. As I go to reply, I realize that she used my name, too. It's been years since I'd heard it spoken, and it feels foreign.

After a minute of me just standing there in mild shock over her break of cultural tact, she speaks again. “You know you can't hide anything from me, I can see right through you. Even with your glasses on.” I feel my mouth turn downward in a small frown. Our whole family was born with some sort of weird eye color -– Dirk and I with warm orange and vivid crimson, and Roxy and Rose with striking pink and a gentle violet. Our parents had made us all wear sunglasses, and usually even in the house. If we were seen as strange, different people from the Whole, who knows what the Commission would do. Let alone the frightened people of the city; we already learned the hard way what they would do.

“Dave,” she asserts a little louder, a little firmer. The second time she had used my name in my life. Was she even sure that was actually my name? Her face is tight, frustrated, but also pressing, as if she is oddly eager for her answer. It scares me, and suddenly I feel targeted as she watches me like a hawk. This is it. “I've watched you, and I know you're not happy here. I don't even know why I bothered asking, I know you. And I've seen the way you stare out the window, and shrink away from people when they talk of the Whole.”  
  
My skin is prickling all over, awareness of my demise shooting through my veins. She is going to turn me into the Commission. I was wrong.  
  
While in my reverie, Rose swallows hard, enough so that I could see her throat clench out of the corner of my eye, even in the dark. She continues looking at me, and I finally break away from facing the window to fully look at her. I expect eyes filled with anger, but instead see nervousness. “..You feel it too, don't you?” she offers quietly, “this isn't.. It wasn't always like this. Someone is lying.”  
  
It takes me a long moment to process her hesitant questioning. Did she stare out the window with the same longing as me, when I hadn't noticed? Did she also wonder what it would be like to be away from here, and feel the fear pulse through her heart whenever a member of the Commission tried to talk to her? It slowly starts to dawn on me that she is growing more tense under my stare without a response, and I realize that she had probably felt as scared to bring this point up as I had. Just as she opens her mouth, probably to quickly deflect what she had said, I open mine. “I couldn't agree with you more.”  
  
Her body slackens, no longer tense, and she steps forward to give me a tight hug. My arms slowly reciprocate. We hadn't hugged like this in a long time, and it felt nice to be so close to someone. It felt like we had both just admitted the biggest thing in our lives, which we probably had, and relief flows from my body at having found out that I'm not alone. We could trust each other.

Lightning shoots past our window with a simultaneous crack of thunder, and we both jump back, landing on our asses. My heart is pounding; my first thought was that someone must have heard us and the door was kicked in –- even though it doesn't seem like it now, since there's no yelling -– and from the look on Rose's face, she had thought the same. I smile slowly at how stupidly that moment had been broken, and she gives a soft laugh in return. No one had been around, and now we have each other to lean on. That's more freedom than either of us have ever had, and I'm going to fucking take it.

Lifting myself off the floor, I lean over to offer Rose a hand –- which she takes -– and help her up. “So, now that we've both gotten this out of our system.. what now?”

“I'm not sure.” She admits, looking exasperated, “It's not like we could just shoot out of the city in a wild rampage and hope for the best.”  
  
“Well, why the fuck not?” The words ring in my ears before I know that I'm saying them, but the more I think about it, the more I agree. Why the fuck can't we? Anything has to be better than this place. Something nags at me in the back of my head though, and it takes me a moment to put a finger on what it is. When I place it, my face sinks and I feel guilty for ever having possibly forgotten them for even a moment. “..What about Roxy and Dirk?”

Rose looks conflicted, and I can tell that she had the same thought. There's no way in hell I could selfishly bolt out of here and never think of them again, and I'm guessing she feels the same.

“I am almost certain that Roxy wants to get out of here as well... at least, if I have been reading her various 'hints' correctly over the past few years.” I balk, nodding in realization with a feeling of stupidity. Of course, Roxy has always been a rebel. Had I been completely oblivious? “She can see more than I can sometimes. I think she knows the Commission is playing us. As for Dirk.. I am not sure.”

“What do you mean? Bro is nearly as much of a rebel as Roxy is. If she's all for the idea, wouldn't he be too?”  
  
Rose lets out a sigh that sounds more like a pondering hum. “I'm not sure. Sometimes I just generally cannot tell what he believes anymore. I'm not sure if even he knows what he feels anymore.”

“He has a tendency to avoid conflict these days."

Rose nods, but even as the words leave my mouth, something feels incomplete about that statement. She adds to it, and I can't help but agree. "I always pinned it to calming down from his teenage years, but it's been a drastic change.”

“Maybe he has the same fear we do, and he's avoiding standing out. It's only reasonable..."

"Or maybe it's because he had some sort of close-call with the Commission?”

There wasn't anything that I could remember about Dirk having skirted around with the Commission. The Commission had always gotten what they wanted, and who they wanted. He wouldn't have been able to escape if they were after him. “..So what's the point of even bringing all this up? You want some sort of escape attempt?”  
  
“If at all possible, yes _please_.”

My lips strain at the wide grin that crosses my face. “Then it's gonna happen. We just need to find a way to figure out if Roxy and Bro are on board.”

“And what if they aren't? What are we going to do then?”  
  
The grin fades, replaced with a flat line. “..we'll just need to find out somehow.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written a fanfic in a long time, and this is my first for Homestuck. It was an idea that struck me and I really wanted to write today, so I went with it c: hope you all like, more to come soon!
> 
> EDIT 6/11/2013: Fixed this chapter for minor errors and so that the writing style in this chapter coincided with the style of the newest chapter.
> 
> EDIT 7/01/2013: Apparently I have been immensely tired every time I have tried to edit chapter 1. I just went through and fixed a mass amount of grammatical errors. I am so embarrassed some of those ever existed.


	2. Rainfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's that quick update I promised. This chapter is longer, and I like to keep chapters on the long side; hopefully future chapters will be this length or longer. Enjoy!

It's been a few nights since I talked to Rose about leaving this place -– possibly a week, possibly longer. Time never matters much here. We had both returned to our beds afterward, silent and slightly afraid that somehow someone may have overheard, but no one ever came. Either way, neither of us slept. That night, or very well in the nights following.

The rain had started to steadily creep into the city, and tonight I guess the particularly loud torrential downpour had been my waking call. The gutter that runs down the side of the building next to my room creeks under the weight of the waterfall rushing through it as I lay in bed, and I swear that some day soon that old thing will break. I stay like this for a long time, hoping that it remains intact, because if it breaks there will be people swarming the building trying to fix it. I hate people.

Unable to get back to sleep, I finally roll out of bed and look at the clock; it's five in the morning, and way too early for this to even remotely be considered a decent time to wake up, but I head out of the room anyway because there's no use in laying in bed when I know I'll never fall asleep.

As I turn the corner and enter the kitchen, I jump slightly when I see Dirk sitting at the table, his chair tilted back onto its back legs and his laptop resting on his knees. He doesn't need to wake up for work until a few hours from now, so why is he up? Does he normally get up this early? Maybe the rain woke him up too, even though him and Roxy don't have gutters by their beds that decide to become hungry mammoths every once in awhile.

He looks up when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye, and I guess he's surprised to see me too, because he jolts and falls back in his chair and onto the floor. He quickly sweeps up his computer and it looks like he closes or minimizes a couple of things before he looks back up to me. "Sup, kid."

I kind of want to know what he was doing, but I kind of don't.

"Nothing much. That beast gutter woke me up. You?"  
  
"Oh." He pauses, with his face still unreadable. "Me too."

Yeah, that didn't sound believable.

After a long silence with a stare down that seems to last forever, curiosity gets the better of me. I turn to make it seem like I'm heading back to my room nonchalantly, but right as I see him relax, I shoot forward in a flashstep -– Something he has regretted teaching me how to do for years because of things like this. Before he processes what's happening I'm dashing out of the room, un-minimizing all of his internet tabs. He had the shitty censored Commissle search engine in one tab –- the internet isn't really worth anyone's time since this is all the Commission will let us use, when there's obviously more out there -– and a survey document in the other. I stop dead as I read the first few words, and find myself on the floor. Dirk hadn't been able to stop fast enough in his dash to retrieve his computer, and he slams into me, sending us both plummeting to the ground. As we hit the floor with a loud thump, he doesn't rush to grab the computer; he opts to just roll off of me and sit there in silence. I opt to do the same for awhile while I try to put pieces together in my brain.

The survey had official Commission letter head, and seemed like a contract of some sort. From where I sit on the floor I still have full view of the screen, and I continue to read. He doesn't stop me, he just avoids my eyes. The purpose of the document begins to sink in; it's a follow up to one of the infamous “loyalty classes.” The kind you're forced to take when you do something bad, but you're too valuable to the Commission for them to just off you. I skim the first few questions.  
  
 _"Since attending our seminar yesterday evening, do you feel a rejuvenated sense of belonging to the Whole?"_  
  
" _If not, have previous seminars helped with your feeling of belonging under the leadership of the Commission?_ "

My eyes skip down to the second to last question, which he's already answered.  
  
 _"How many years have you been attending our seminars?"_

The number below was eleven. Eleven years. Dirk is only twenty five. That's nearly half his life. He's been leaving each week in the early morning and going to these things for half his life, and I have never noticed. Had Rose noticed? Roxy? This is my brother. My Bro. I know I don't know everything, but this is a pretty big thing not to know. I could have noticed. I should have noticed.

The last question asks if these events had helped to reduce his urge to act against the Whole. The box below it is blank.

I turn and stare at him, unsure what exactly my reaction is. I'd guess it's surprise. What had he done to get him into a loyalty class? Why had they put him there instead of dumping him like the rest of the people who did some shit that didn't please the Commission? He continued to stare off into space, not looking at me, or anything for that matter. The awkward silence was thick, and for a few moments I wondered if I should just hand him his computer and never bring this up again. Then the conversation I had with Rose popped back into my mind. He's our Bro, and I've always trusted him with a lot, but this is one thing we've never broached. If we left this place, I couldn't leave without having even asked him what he felt.

Obviously unwilling to be the first one to break the tense silence, I break it for him. "..what'd you do, Bro?"

He sighs heavily. I can't tell if it's regret at being found out, or relief that he doesn't have to hide this anymore. "I was fourteen. You know how fourteen-year-olds are."

"..why'd they throw you in a class?"  
  
"Because there are so few shits in this city that give a fuck about robotics, and they could tell I was awesome." He smirks, with a slight tinge of sadness beneath it. A few memories flash back into my mind from when I was little. I vaguely remember some scary Commission guys searching the apartment. They must have seen the robots in Bro's room it took him so long to collect the parts for. "–So they tried to 'salvage' me by having me work for their technology department. I got so good at keeping their shit stink-free for them that they just decided to keep me around because they were dependent as fuck on me."

I glance back over to the computer. The document says it was opened at three in the morning. It's taken him two hours to answer one question on a small questionnaire. "Bro.." my hands clench at my sides a little, unsure. "Why's it taking you so long to finish this?"

"Shit, you're smart. You know why, little man."

"Do you.." I'm not sure if I'm playing dumb at this point, or honestly just don't know what he'll say. I guess I just want to be sure that the small hope forming in my chest has merit to it. "..Do you not know the answers?"  
  
"No, I know the answers. They're just not the ones they want to hear."

Hearing him admit to having answers that the Commission didn't want to hear was the only answer I had ever wanted to hear. The slow smile that crawls across on my face turns into an unmatchable smirk. "You know what.. I'm tired of this place. Let's wake everyone up and get the fuck out of here before this storm clears and those pansies come after us."

  
  
––––  
  
––  


  
The more we wait on an escape, the more likely it is that we'll be caught.

Scared of the possibility, Dirk confirms that now is definitely the time. It's now, or possibly never.

It's only about half an hour after my suggestion of the most impromptu escape I've ever heard of when a small pile of necessities are gathered at the door. Bro is calmly but hurriedly packing everything into a few small bags and Roxy is hugging the ever living shit out of Rose, mumbling "I always knew we both took after daaad" in the most giddy voice I've heard her use in forever. A few hours ago we had all been in our beds, chill and dreaming of whatever, and now we're all ready to jump the band-wagon on a near suicidal attempt to get out of the place we've known all our lives.

I've never felt closer to any of them than I do now.

We have hidden so much from each other for years, but now that it's all out in the open we just need to get the fuck out of here.

I take note of what Roxy said. Dad died when Rose and I were too young to remember much of him; I'll have to ask her about him later.

More importantly, though, at the moment we need an escape route. A good one. I walk over to Bro while Roxy and Rose have their one-sided sisterly bonding, and tap him on the shoulder. He glances up quickly to show that he noticed me, then finishes throwing a few things in the last bag before slinging it onto his shoulder. "What's up, little man?"

"How exactly are we getting out of here?"

He stares for a minute, then smirks. "Trust me, I have plans. I've had these plans for years." The only thing that comes to my mind as he turns to grab the other bags and hands one to each of us –- forcing Roxy to drop the ever thankful Rose -– is that he plans to have some sort of shoot out. Somewhere deep inside I sincerely hope this is what he's been planning. Somewhere even deeper, probably somewhere in the rational part of my brain, I desperately hope it isn't. "Alright. I guess it's time to go." he smirks, and an excited whisper tumbles out as he turns toward the door, a whisper that he seems to have been waiting to say for years, and one filled with unidentifiable emotion that is usually absent in his voice. A quick, enthused whisper of "Fuck the Commission!" echoes quietly as we leave the home, the one that we've known our whole lives, for the last time.

 

––  


  
The four of us rush along the musky dank corridors on silent feet, the rain acting as a too-easy cover for any stray sound that may wander into a room. Bro leads us down the outdated stairway, avoiding the elevator, and out and down a hallway on the main floor that was emptied of residents long ago.

Everyone knows what happened to them, but no one will say it. We remain just as silent as the gossipers as we walk.

As we reach the end of the hall, Bro pulls a small silver sliver and squeezes it between his fingers. I watch in awe as it expands along the metal edges into a claw-like mechanism, which he proceeds to slide into the keyhole of the door by us, then remove. All of these doors are always locked, because the Commission doesn't want us snooping around, but the door opens easily as he goes to open it.

The Commission was fucking stupid for letting this man live, holy shit.

A surge of pride merges with my adrenaline as we all enter the room, which Bro closes and locks behind us. I hope to high hell that intelligence like that runs in the family, and guessing by how all of us have seen through the Commission's bullshit when no one else seems to have done the same, it does.

As Bro double checks the surroundings, I can't help but think to myself, " _Fuck yeah, geniuses on the loose, everyone better watch out."_

Beyond the once locked door that we have now all bypassed, we're faced with a supply of bright orange raincoats –- all raincoats are bright here so that no one can slip away unnoticed -- and various other items such as rope, matches, and a kerosene lamp. Dirk starts grabbing things and tosses the raincoats at us. I balk. “Won't they see us in these things?!” I hiss, probably looking appalled.

He laughs silently, and answers in a hushes tone. “Already thought of it, dude.” He slides off his backpack and pulls out some dull, dark green sweatshirts, all very large, and tosses those to us as well. “Throw these on over the raincoats, I dyed them myself. Sweatshirts will keep you hidden, coats will keep you dry even when the sweatshirt is soaked.”

Roxy smiles. “How thoroughly have you thought this out, hun?”

He answers with a smirk as he walks over to her, pulling the hood of the sweatshirt over her face to hide it. “I've had years to plan, Rox.” She giggles quietly as he turns and shoves the new items into the backpack that the sweatshirts once filled.

I look over to Rose and she seems shell shocked – as if she can't believe this is really happening. She's been like this the entire time, and I'm starting to wonder if she's regretting going along with us. I take a step closer and put my hand on her shoulder, trying to be comforting, and she seems to break out of her trance as she looks up and smiles softly. It seems genuine, and hopefully it actually is. There's not much turning back at this point, and I don't think any of us want to be separated. And it's now or never.

We walk out together through a window in the store room that Bro carefully dislodges, and he guides us around a small area where he says the cameras aren't set up. Apparently they weren't even in the hall earlier, because the residents were gone and all the interesting rooms had been locked. No one knows that we're here right now, and the thought already makes me feel more free than ever before. I don't even care if there's anything beyond those trees anymore, because I just want out of here.

Hopefully, that's where we'll be soon.

Out of here.  
  
After walking along what seemed to be the most complex trail I'd ever walked –- seriously, how did Bro come up with this -– we arrive at a small well along the outskirts of the city, where no one really goes anymore. Except for Dirk, I guess. There's a wooden cover over it with a lock, which is also greeted with the same small, silver mechanical object from earlier, easily leaving its protection inept. Dirk lifts the cover to reveal what looks like a pit of water, but I guess looks deceive, because he grabs at the inside of the well and slides up, pulling up a large half-barrel with a bit of water at the bottom. A false bottom for a well. Suddenly I'm more impressed than I think I should be, but I could care less if this is our path to freedom. Judging by the small metal ladder going down the side of the inside of the well, it is, so I can officially care less.

“Well, what are you all staring at? Get your asses down there.” The grin on his face is as close to enthusiastic as I've ever seen him, and I can't help but grin back as he helps Rose onto the ladder and down the well, and begins to help Roxy down after her. I resist the childish urge to squawk like an imbecile down into the well and shit on someone's desk just to defile something in this city for once. It must be the taste of freedom giving me insane urges. That was the dumbest idea I've had in weeks. Stupid stupid stupid. Seriously, who thinks things like that.  
  
While I zone out, Roxy and Rose make it to the bottom of the well and knock on the stone to signal that they've made it. By the way the sound echoes, it's bigger down there than I had thought, and I wonder absently how far down it is as Bro suddenly grabs me and quickly shoves me down onto the ladder. His face is strained and he mouths “go” and motions his hands for emphasis as he picks up the barrel half and balances it on the side of the well. I open my mouth to ask what is happening when he lowers his head by mine and whispers frantically. “I'll be down there with you guys soon. I'm going to jam the lock.”

There's the sound of people walking somewhere in the distance, their footsteps clicking damply against the wet cobblestone.

My face turns wild and I try to climb back up, so that he's not alone, but he snaps “go!” as he shoves the barrel half back into the well, and I'm forced to climb lower to avoid being smashed. I hear a quick click as the wooden cover is shifted back into place, and the lock secured again.

Bro is up there. Alone. And people are coming.

My eyes widen in realization of what could happen to him if he's caught, and I resist the urge to bang on the wood separating me from my Bro. I tense when I hear voices from above; they sound muted through the water and stone and wood between me and them, and I have to strain my ears to hear.

“Where did.. -ff to?!”

“..bet he's... jumping again.”  
  
“..-mmit!”

The sounds echo around in the well chamber. They must be pretty close to us, and the thought makes my chest clench in fear. Then one word echoes above everything, loud and clear.  
  
“STRIDER!”  
  
Subconsciously I back down the ladder some, flinching from the sound. The footsteps start up again, but this time they become more and more faint. I stay still for a long time, and in that time a few gears start to click into place in my frozen mind. One, it sounded like Bro wasn't there when they got to the well. Two, it didn't sound at all like they suspected we were down here. And three, it sounded like Bro got them to follow him off somewhere. My eyes close involuntarily as concern sets in. Unironic, sincere concern. As I lower myself to the bottom of the well in the dark, it feels like something is mentally strangling me. I feel guilt. A hand grabs my shoulder and I jump off the ladder, thankfully only finding the ground a few inches below me as I stumble along until I hear soft reassurance. “Dave, it's just me!”  
  
My shoulders loosen from the tension that had been surging through them, and I shake. Rose sits beside me on the cold, slightly damp ground, and I hear shuffling of bags and water running. A few moments later a match is lit, and I see the fire reflecting off Roxy's face as she lights the lantern we had grabbed earlier. She walks with it over to the both of us and sits. Rose looks at me, the shock from earlier gone, replaced with a small empathetic frown. I look down and shake my head. “Bro must have heard people coming. I think he stayed up there to make sure that everything was locked up and normal looking.” Roxy's eyes widen and I quickly add in, “he said he'd find us, then shoved me down here.”  
  
As they both lower their heads, I feel guilty. I wanted to stay up there with him, to make sure he wasn't alone. Dammit, what if they caught him? He had helped us escape, but what about him?! He was the one they were after, and he was the one that needed to hide the most. He needed to get out of here the most. He had spent years planning this. Years enduring those shitty classes. Years staying with us when he could have left.

My eyes begin to sting at the thought and I squeeze them shut, clenching my hands at my sides. Rose lifts her hand to lay it on my shoulder again for comfort, but I shrug it off. This is my fault. I was the one who initiated us leaving. “..I don't want to think about what they'll do to Bro if they catch him.” After a slight pause, Roxy laughs. It takes me a moment to realize I had said that out loud.  
  
“It's Dirk, Dave. He's a cunning son-of-a-bitch.” She smiles, patting my leg. “He'll find us. He's a million times smarter than those assholes.”

The words bring me more reassurance than I thought they would. Of course, it's Bro.

He'll make it. He's smarter. He's faster. And who knows what the hell kind of robots he's got in his backpack to help him. I feel a bit more relaxed, but still on edge. “..can we wait here for awhile until he comes back?” They both nod in agreement, and Roxy sets the lantern on the ground while she stands and walks back over to her bag.

“Come on kiddies, set your bags over here and let's see what we got. We should rest a bit until Di-Stri comes back so we're ready to go.” Rose and I both comply as we head over to her and begin rummaging through the bags. My stomach growls hollowly, and Roxy laughs, pulling out an apple and handing it to me. I thank her and go to sit against the wall to eat the fruit of the gods while the two of them pull out small snacks as well.

While I snap my teeth into the crisp fruit, I look around me at everything that the light from the lantern reflects on. My guess is that the well was an abandoned water collector from the old days when it was still needed, and that the Commission tried to expand it into something more advanced before they gave up on it. The whole area seems like a long tunnel, stretching in either direction. There's a few feet of cobblestone-laden ground next to each wall, and a drop after that that seems to go about five feet down to form a canyon for water to move through. I peer over the ledge to get a better look, and scoot the lantern over with me; there is barely any water down there, so my best bet is that, yup, this has been abandoned. The gentle sound of trickling water is soothing, and it is almost enough to lull me off into a snooze, but it doesn't. At least Bro will be back by tonight, and we'll be able to head off in the morning or something. The rain is supposed to last at least that long, and the thought is reassuring. We're all going to be alright. We're on the verge of freedom. All of us, together.

Or at least, I thought that. Life isn't always so great, though.

Bro doesn't come back that day. Or that night.

We're forced to leave the next morning before the rain clears.

Bro doesn't turn up then, either.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this length is good for this chapter, and that my writing style is clear and alright here. Sometimes I worry about my writing, but I think it turned out alright! Let me know what you think, comments are appreciated! More character building in the next chapter. You'll get to learn more about them and their lives then. Until chapter 3 do we part!
> 
> EDIT 6/11/2013: Chapter edited to fix minor errors and make the style coincide with the newest chapter.
> 
> EDIT 7/01/2013: More small grammar/other fixes


	3. Welcome to the Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, formatting went weird on me and there are large spaces between the paragraphs. Does anyone know how to fix this?? The other chapters didn't do this...
> 
> EDIT: Fixed it!

==> Be Rose

 

I believe it's morning, but there's nothing around to tell me if my assumption is correct. I fell asleep between my sister and Dave, but I can't remember when and there's nothing to tell me what time it is now, so I'll assume my previous assumption is correct. Roxy blew out the lamp before we went to sleep, so everything is pitch black. It makes me wonder if there is an actual exit anywhere near us; there's no light coming from either end of the tunnel.

 _I really hope that we can find some way out before we run out of kerosene_.

I lay there against the wall, listening to the slow breathing of my siblings. Two of my siblings, at least. They both sound like they are asleep, so I choose not to disturb them. I would rather have some time to myself to think before we head out.

My name is Rose Lalonde, and I was born into a society run by the Commission. My twin brother Dave and I had always shared the same room in the same apartment over the same years for the same reason: because we were stuck there, stuck in that place that we forcefully called home. We were born in December, when our older brother was eight and our sister was seven. I vaguely remember Roxy and Dirk talking about how close the family was until mother died; Dave and I were too young to remember anything about her. From what I've gathered though, father wasn't quite the same afterward.

Him and Dirk were very close. I remember that he received much of father's attention, and I was jealous at the time, as children often are, but I knew that he loved us. All of us. A few days after Dave and I turned six, Dirk was gone for a few days. When he returned, people from the Commission were with him. He had done something. While they searched the apartment, father held Dirk close and whispered things to him that I don't remember; I don't believe he was chastising him, though, because he didn't look upset. Commission workers came out with a few objects from Dirk's room every once in awhile, asking him questions.

The next day, the people came back and left with father. He never came back. Dirk and Roxy wouldn't tell us why, but I've had my guesses over the years. I was young, though, so I can't be sure.

The day after dad left, a man from the Commission came. He acted like our babysitter, and he didn't try to disguise the fact that he loathed us. We hated him, too. However, he had to deal with us because Dirk refused to let any of us leave our apartment and go into the orphanage.

There had never been good stories about the orphanage.

The man stayed with us for all of three days. Dirk wouldn't let him in our parents' room, so he had to sleep on the couch. Dave had started learning how to flashstep, and the reason why Dirk taught him was apparent when the Commission man would wake in the night, cursing the boys and everything they stood for. After those three days he simply left and from then on only came once every week to make sure we were still alive. It's not like he would have cared much either way. When Dirk turned eighteen, the man stopped coming, but our brother took care of us all with a new job that the Commission had forced upon him in father's absence.

He was always a good caretaker, even if he was young. I admired him growing up, and even though Dave would never admit it, I know he did too.

Fast forward to present. Dirk is gone and the rest of us are sleeping in an abandoned well.

Well, that escalated quickly.  
  
I sigh quietly, half believing in Dirk to outsmart the goons of our corrupt society, and half believing that the Commission will find him regardless. They have their ways. Every once in awhile, I hear Dave mumbling in his sleep; he seems to be having a nightmare about Dirk, and my initial reaction is to roughly nudge him awake. He shouldn't be dwelling on what can't be changed.

As I shove him I feel him jolt to consciousness beside me, but for once, I am at a loss for words. He's just woken up from dwelling on the same worry that I have and I'm not quite sure if I can really comfort him when I have the same problem. Half of the comfort would be trying to comfort myself.

After a few moments, he sighs. In the darkness, he probably can't see that I'm awake, and likely just assumed that he had woken by himself. After a pause, I finally find the words to speak. "So," obviously I surprised him, because I hear something hit the wall behind him as he jumps again. Probably his head. I'm unable to repress a small laugh as I finish, "-should we head off soon? Relax, I don't bite. Usually."

"Bullshit."

A grin creeps across my face. "Instead of insulting your dear sister, why don't you help me find the lantern and wake sleeping beauty?" Roxy was always a heavy sleeper; Dirk would always say that she slept like a dead-beat husband in a soundproof room. His words, not mine.

I hear Dave groping around along the old cobblestone ground, in what I could only guess is an inefficient attempt to find the lantern. I sigh, and run my hand along the wall next to Roxy as I move my foot around slowly by her; she likely didn't move it too far away from where she passed out. After a moment, there's a metallic thud.

Easy.

I bend down and feel a small cardboard box next to it and slide it open to pull out a match, proceeding to strike it against the wall to light it. I look over to see Dave having paused in his search farther down the corridor to look at the new-found light source. My mouth opens to ask him why in the world the lantern would be way over there, but instead I sigh again, my palm resting on my forehead in disappointment as I quickly go to light the lantern.

The passage fills with light as fire touches fuel and I hold the beacon in one hand as I stand again. As I turn back toward my sister, I notice that Dave is still far down the corridor, not having made a move to come back over when I lit the lantern. He's waiting for Dirk. Trying to stall. Does he not understand how dire it is that we leave as quick as we can, while we still have the cover of the weather? Dirk.. he can handle himself.

I hope.

Either way, it would do us no good to wait here any longer. If the Commission had caught him, then there would be nothing we could do, and the longer we waited the more likely it would be that we would not make it out of here either. And Dirk's efforts would have been in vain. I can't let that happen.

Before I wake Roxy, I decide to walk over to where Dave is. He is sitting against the wall, staring into the dark crevice where water once ran; I can only imagine he's thinking about Dirk. I place a hand on his shoulder and he looks up at me, eyes hidden behind his pointy sunglasses but emotions obvious to me. I've known him too long for him to hide and I think we've always had some sort of twin bond, even if we are fraternal. He's more conflicted than I have ever seen him. He wants to stay and wait, but at the same time he realizes what this would mean for all of us. I squeeze his shoulder gently, and then let go.

He stands silently and we both walk back to our sister.

We set off uneventfully.

 

–

 

 

It has been seemingly forever since we began our way down this tunnel. I ask Dave for his estimate, and he projects that we're about four hours into the journey. He's likely close in his assumption, either way. He's always been good at keeping time.

Roxy insisted that we walk in front of her so that she could keep track of us, and Dave grumbles about being old enough to look out for himself, but otherwise does not protest. I take the lead and keep the group at a steady pace; I want to get out of here. We all do. We have been in this cramped, dark, dingy wet tunnel for far too long for comfort. But maybe it's not as dark as I had originally thought.

Either my eyesight has grown use to the lighting, or it has actually gotten lighter in here. I stop and hold out my hand to stop Roxy and Dave, and then turn off the lantern.

From farther ahead, there is a dull glow coming from around a corner.

An exit is near.

I turn and look at the others, now light enough for me to see their expressions. Roxy has an impeccable grin, and Dave wears a small smile despite his usual demeanor; he's not as deadpan as he thinks he is, but he's wearing more of a smile than normal. It's warranted anyway, because we're about to see daylight for the first time as free people. I nod and then hurry forward, not turning the lantern back on. Who knows when we may need its fuel once we're out of here.

When I approach the corner and round it though, I'm met face to face with a large metal grate. Beyond the barrier lies grass, never trodden on. Trees, more beautiful up close than when seen afar beyond the wall of the city. And rain; glorious, glorious rain that is beginning to peter away.

I can only imagine the look on my face to be none-too pleased.

Dave laughs.

"Cool your jets, Rose. You look like you're about to shank someone." He walks up behind me, probably taking immense pleasure in my simple frown. "Relax. I grabbed a pair of shears from that storage room."

Never have I ever been more impressed at his foresight. I hadn't even seen those in there. My shoulders loosen, relieved. "Get them out, then." He slips his backpack off his shoulder and reaches in, taking out a large pair that must have been a pain to carry for so long. I smile. "Would you like to do the honors?"  
  
"Hell yes."

  
–

 

==> Stop being Rose

 

When would I ever be my sister. That's gross, she probably has a logged stash of tentacle porn in her brain. And, like, cooties or some shit. I have always been me and no one other than me.

Well, I'm also a lot of other great things right now besides just me. Like free.

Free's a good one to be.

Hopefully we can stay that way. We've put all of our effort into running our asses off for the last half hour since we left the underground, and I would really not like to backtrack on any of that progress. Ducking and weaving through trees for that long, while still staying out of clearings and everything so we're less visible, is more than a little tiring. But as we've been running, the slope we've been heading along has gotten less and less steep. Ahead, it looks like there's a top to this hill. We'll be able to see what the hell is beyond all of the shit we've always known.

The thought is both terrifying and exciting. Even though I should be exhausted by now, I can feel my pace picking up as we get closer. I want to know what else there is besides our hellish birth city, and soon I'll find out. I've begun to run so fast that my feet slip in the wet grass and fallen vegetation, and it takes everything in me to slow down so that I don't end up face or ass first in a puddle of mud. Not the best way to greet the new world. _"Hello, my name is Dave Strider, and I am a graceful muddy son-of-a-bitch."_

I'd rather avoid that sort of entrance.

Unless my eyes are playing tricks on me, though, this isn't the sort of sight I'd ever want to avoid.

Finally reaching the top of the hill, I stop dead in my tracks as I try to process how far I can actually see. Just past the top of the hill, the land dips down again and forms a massive valley that stretches for miles. Sure, there's a shit ton of trees, but there's also something else: a big ass city. Bigger than the one we've always known. The whole time that the Commission fed us lies about how we were the only civilization left, this sucker was right over the hill. It's like a smack to the face, but one that I'm honestly ignoring due to all this adrenaline running in me. I hear Roxy laugh and speed up at my total loss of ability to control my emotions, because right now they're far from cool or ironic.

Probably because I just screeched "YES!" at the top of my lungs and started to do a dance of victory.

Yeah, that's probably why.

I could really care less right now, because I'm free. We're free. I can't believe we all –

..Almost all of us are free, at least.

Bro, I miss you already.

 

–

–

 

It's been a week since we left the society, but all of us have been too afraid to enter the city. Too afraid that that is the first place that the Commission will look for us. Instead, we opted to venture around to find a place to stay, and we ended up making a shitty fort-like shelter between two trees by a pond in the massive forest. It really wasn't too uncomfortable except for the fact that it was much colder than our apartment. That, and we had run out of stored food on the second day.

Since then, we've been trying to scout out around the area and find something mildly edible, with not a lot of success. That success could be summed up in the day that I brought back a shit ton of berries that Rose told me were probably poisonous. Judging by how I got rid of them by throwing them in the pond that night, and the next day there was a dead fish floating in the water, I think she was probably right. Fuck, though, I'm starving here.

It's not like the Commission ever wanted to teach us how to survive on our own. That would be just asking for us to escape. No, instead they wanted us to be dependent, so we'd never even have the thought of leaving. They failed regarding us obviously, but they succeeded in making us useless at living out here on our own. Bastards.

I think I'm at the breaking point, honestly. We all decided to spread out and look for something to eat -– maybe a recently dead animal or some non-poisonous plants –- and without even realizing it, I found myself nearing the city. Maybe I could find something that someone dumped in the woods, at least. Anything that won't kill me reall–

Those are people I hear. Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck fuckity fuck.

I dodge behind the nearest tree, peering out from behind it to see a boy and a girl running together, laughing and shoving each other. Their stark black hair easily stands out against the greenery, and it makes me realize how my bright blond probably does as well. I suddenly wish that I had actually landed in one of those mud puddles when we had left the society, and I kneel down to stay more hidden. Who knows if the Commission has already come out and plastered our faces all over their town; they've certainly had enough time to do it by now.

The two end up stopping a few feet later, and at first fear shoots through me as I suspect that they saw me, but I relax as they sit in a small clearing and talk. They look about my age; they're probably just enjoying being young. With the sort of freedom that I never really had.

Curious about what free kids could be talking about in their free lives in the middle of their free forest –- and that observation was most certainly not bitter -– I find myself creeping closer, while still trying to stay low to the ground and out of sight behind trees. As I move just within earshot, feeling giddy about my level of unreal stealth, I trip and land squarely in a dry bush that makes the loudest sound against the most quiet setting that it possibly could.

Fuck my life.

The two stop talking, and I can only assume that they're looking in the direction that I fell. I stay stark still in the bush and hope to high hell that they just ignore it and continue whatever the fuck that they were doing. There's a long pause, then the girl mentions something about a rabbit being startled. I thank whatever force there may be that these people are stupid.

The boy laughs and agrees that it's nothing, and after they talk for a bit I move my head slightly so that I can see through the leaves to where they are sitting. As I do so, the girl slides a bag off of her shoulder and pulls out–

Fuck, they have food, and I feel my stomach twist at the sight.

No, don't you do it. Don't you dare you mother-

My stomach growls loudly.

Traitor! Shut the fuck up! Why would you do that?!

Seriously, my life is being maliciously fucked with a cactus or something. No joke. This is totally abuse of my dignity right now and so many levels of uncool.

I resist the urge to violently assault my stomach for being such an asshole. The only reason I don't is because that would be an insanely stupid thing to do right now.

The two stop talking again, and my heart races. After a moment of tense silence, the boy speaks up. "..H..Hello?" Through the vegetation, I see him stand. No, no no no. Put your ass the fuck down. I close my eyes tightly, childishly hoping that if I can't see him, then I guess he can't see me. Unsurprisingly, the next time he talks he's a lot closer. "Hey, are you alright?" And he sees me.

Could I maybe just.. pretend to be dead? Hold your breath, Strider. No, sir, I am not alright. I am a dead body, keep moving along. Leave to tell somebody so I can run away, please.

The thought runs through my mind until I feel a warm hand prod the ripped shirt on my back. I had taken off my coat and jacket before I left because the day was fairly warm and I wanted them to dry, but right now more than anything I wish I had that dull green sweatshirt to hide me. I jump under the touch and immediately move to run, but he grabs my arm. Either he's impressively strong or I've gotten impressively weak from not eating for so long. Or both. Either way, I lock my eyes with his, my face unguarded since removing my sunglasses when we left, and I know that fear is pouring from them right now. Curiosity and concern flicker in his amazingly bright blue eyes, and I'm locked in a trance like a deer in headlights. I've never seen eyes like that before and I'm guessing he's never seen eyes like mine. They're mutated and ugly and all I want to do right now is slink back to camp and grab my shades.

As the girl sees me pop out of the bushes she gasps, and I really hope it's not because she recognizes me from a flier. The boy's grip tightens. "Hey, don't run! How long have you been out here, you look starved!" Way to go captain obvious. In truth, I bet I do look like a mess, though. I kinda expected a comment like that, but I didn't expect what he said next.

"Do you.. want some food?"

I stare at him in shock. Hell yes I want some food. Unable to force words from my lips, I meagerly nod my head. His face lights up and he pulls me toward where they were sitting. He's pretty trusting for having met a random animalistic starving stranger in the woods, but all I care about is that he's offering me something to eat. They probably weren't exactly intimidated because of how small and frail I look right now anyway.

He sits back down and I hesitantly sit with them as he holds out a sandwich to me. I grab it and quickly start eating it as he watches. "How long have you been out here?"

"..like.. a week or something." My voice sounds dry and cracked. I haven't really had much water either, because the water in the forest is murky and we weren't sure how to make it drinkable. There's probably a bunch of nasty stuff living in it. It wasn't clear like the water was back at home.

The girl looks at me in shock. "Have you had anything to eat at all?!"  
  
I shrug. "Not in a while."

"Why have you been out here so long?! What happened to your house? Why aren't you in town?" I don't know what their reaction is to my silence at her rapid questions, because I stare numbly before looking down, away from them. "Do you.." she hesitates, "..have a house?"

"..Not anymore." I can't really go back to the apartment now, so I don't really have a home. Just a pile of twigs in the forest that I've been sleeping in.

My thoughts are cut off as she barrels into me in a hug. "That's so sad!! I haven't seen you around town before," she lets go of me, and since I had finished the sandwich the guy had given me, she hands me hers as well, "are you from around here?"

I shake my head. "No.. we sorta had to come a ways."  
  
"We?" the boy gives me a questioning look. Fuck, why did I have to mention it was more than just me? Now people know that we're all out here together.

"Me and my sisters.." I mentally smack myself while I talk, but it's too late to just play it off now, "..we sorta.. took a leap of faith and got the hell out of where we lived."

The boy seems confused at first, but then a look of realization and shock crosses his face. Again I hope that it's not because of a flier or something that said that we were wanted dead or alive. "Are you guys from Derse?"

My eyebrows raise in surprise. "..You know about it?"

He nods. "The secluded little place beyond the valley.. everyone here knows it's there, but no one really knows anything about it. They never let anyone from here into their gates to trade or anything and they have these really big scary walls. People always say it looks like a prison, and I think a lot of people assume it is. ..that's where you're from?" He seems more curious than concerned now, and he leans in closer, like he's examining me. I feel uncomfortable, but at the same time relieved that he's not pitying me as much right now as he was earlier. I nod. "..What's it like?"

"We would rather be out here alone, starving in a forest than in a warm apartment. What do you think?"

He seems to understand. "Do you.." he pauses, a little unsure, "..want to stay with us? I mean, we can't just leave you out here." He seems to notice my cautious look, and he quickly adds, "you don't have to! I just.. can't really stand that you guys are out here starving in the cold when we could help you out, you know?"

I still feel hesitant. Who knows what the hell sort of people are in that town? Maybe they're not much different than back with the Commission. But maybe they are.

As I have an inner debate about which choice is better, I remember Rose and Roxy, both equally as hungry as I am. The thought makes my decision a little easier, and I reluctantly nod, mumbling quietly. "..I'm a Strider."

The girl smiles, jumping into the conversation again. "A strider? Like, a guy who strides?"

"Well, sure, but it's also my family name."

The boy prods me again, and it's information that seems strange to ask for. "What's your first name?"

"...Dave."

"I'm John." A large smile spreads across his face. "I don't know what Derse was like, but... Welcome to Prospit!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ==> Enter: John
> 
> Yes, why yes I did name the towns Prospit and Derse. That is a thing I did.
> 
> Longest chapter yet. Woo! I kept wanting to get this done so I could have this updated, but I seriously had to kick my self in the butt big time to get this written. I don't know if it was writer's block or an insane urge to just sleep, but it's finally finished regardless! I hope you all enjoyed, and as always, comments are appreciated :>
> 
> EDIT 6/11/2013: Edited to fix minor errors and make the writing style coincide with the newest chapter (which will be added later in the day on the 12th).


	4. Different

Apprehension is freezing all my muscles, and it's a feeling I'm unused to. I can't help it, though; these are people I've never met before that I'm bringing back to my only family. The only family that finally made it out of the hell we've always known. It's all I can really do at this point if I want any of us to live much longer, but I still feel hesitant. If anything happens, it'll be my fault. We just left the boiling pot and we could be jumping right back in.

I look back to see the dark-haired boy walking about a foot behind me, stepping carefully as he and the girl follow me through the woods. He sees me turn and looks up to give a wide, friendly smile in response. It makes me feel a little more reassured that I made the right choice.

The feeling doesn't last long, though, because as we walk up to the make-shift, shitty shelter, insecurity settles back in again. I forgot to think about how Rose and Roxy would react to these visitors. They'll probably think I'm insane for bringing them here and tell me to get away from them; the thought sends a wave of intense fear through me –- if they won't go there is no way I could just leave them.

A sigh of relief rakes through me when we approach the shelter to find that neither Rose nor Roxy are back yet. They're probably still looking around for food, like I was doing before I ran into the overly-emotional seemingly-helpful people that are currently following me. Guilt hits me as I remember the full sandwich I had eaten, but I smile slightly as I remember that I saved the other sandwich for them, even though my stomach still ached for more. I pat my pocket as we come to a stop, making sure that it's still there, and I mentally note that it is.

"This is where you've been living?" I turn back to the two when the boy speaks up, and I can see something akin to concern in his eyes. It seems that for whatever reason, undoubtedly unlike anyone back at home, he seems to give a fuck that the three of us are out here and starving; I have the sudden urge to know his name, and I shuffle through my brain for answers. He's said it already, I'm sure, but I just can't remember it. Name seem like something important here, shit.

I realize that I haven't responded to his question yet, so I give a small nod, hoping he hasn't asked anything else since I tuned out. He frowns. "A week out here? This is the first warm day we've had in awhile.. I'm so sorry you guys have had to live like this." I look down, feeling that at least to some degree, he thinks we're stupid for doing this when we could have stayed at home. I can't lie, for the last few days I've felt the same way each time I've heard my stomach growl or tried to defrost my hands as they burn from the cold.

"We, uh.. decided to split up this morning to go find something to eat. They'll be back at sun high." That couldn't be long from now, since the sun is pretty high up already, but I feel the need to not be under their intense, pitying gazes any longer. I walk over to the little wooden alcove and grab my sunglasses, throwing them on, and then walk to the pond and sit, watching the water move slightly as small bugs I've never seen before skip across the surface. Seems like a good enough distraction.

Unfortunately, their stares never leave me, and I feel their oblivious eyes on my back the whole time that I will for them to ignore me. After a minute or so, I start when I hear a thud next to me, and look over to see the boy had sat down beside me, giving me a smile as bright as he had earlier. The girl sits down carefully on my other side, placing a hand on my shoulder, in what I can only assume is supposed to be a comforting gesture. Our family was never very touchy-feely -– not many were in Derse, really -– so this past hour has been a completely different experience. Maybe this is just what people outside of Derse are like.

There's a short pause, then the boy speaks up again. I silently note that they're both pretty talkative. "I'll have to show you around town when we get there.. it's really big! There's a lot of places to eat and a lot of cool lights at night and occasionally some cats around town and—"

"John, he probably wants to sleep on an actual bed again first, right?" The girl smiles apologetically, like she's used to this spontaneous enthusiastic behavior. John, huh? Yeah, I remember that name being thrown out earlier too. John looks embarrassed at having gotten so excited; I feel a small smirk pull across my face, and I shrug. It doesn't matter to me either way; I've spent long enough outside, I could hold out if it meant having a plush mattress again soon.

"If you really want to be such a gentleman and show this fine lady around town, I wouldn't mind that." I try my best to lay the sarcastic irony on thick, because I know that my demeanor can be hard to adjust to, but apparently it wasn't thick enough to penetrate his extremely thick head.

He tilts his head to the side slightly and furrows his brows in confusion for a moment. "..You're a girl?"

The bubbly girl on my other side begins choking in laughter, trying and failing to cover her mouth as she continues on uncontrollably. John shouts a whiney "hey!" and shoves her, which only makes her laugh more. I can't help but crack the first genuine smile I've had in awhile as I watch them interact; they're close. A tinge of jealousy hits me as I think back to living in Derse. Playing around like that wasn't allowed in public, because you weren't supposed to have any bias toward a particular person –- no close relationships, just comrades and a group of people related to you that you lived with. Family for most was just a word, not a bond.

I wonder silently if they are considering joinment, but then again, what if they don't have that at.. what was it called? Prospit? Maybe they don't start those at this age either. Our age would even be considered a bit young back at home. Maybe they're just close comrades; not quite joinment material but not the acquaintance level of a comrade. There has to be a word for that. My smile fades away as my mind drifts off in thought.

The two of them stop their play-fight and go silent for a moment. I try to ignore them, staring at the ground and unfocusing my eyes, but as I do I hear John shout "Dog pile on Dave!" and then feel a heavy thump against my side, followed by another. What is –- are they attacking me?! I struggle to get up but I just hear them laugh non-threateningly as they crawl back up, smiling, and I'm even more confused.

The girl's smile widens. "Don't look so sad! We're going to make sure you and your family are okay, and we'll have a lot of fun!" she turns to John, smile growing, "this will be so great! There's hardly anyone in our grade around town. We can tell everyone he's our pet alien or something!"

"What? No one would believe that!"

"Yeah-huh! Look at his eyes!" To emphasize her point, she leans in toward me and reaches for my sunglasses. I jerk away, holding a hand up to make sure they stay on my face, and she frowns. "What's wrong?"

"I.. ..no one is supposed to see our eyes."

"Why? Because they're red?" John frowns too, shaking his head, "there's nothing wrong with being different. Being different is what makes people cool! Everyone wants to be unique."

I stare at him, my brain trying to process what he had just said. Different, a good thing? That almost makes me want to laugh. Back at home, hardly. But in Prospit? "..Really?"

He nods enthusiastically. "Yup! Jade, back me up here."

Ah, John and Jade. I'll have to remember those, it shouldn't be too hard. Jade nods as well, "Being unique is what makes people interesting. That's why your eyes are so cool! I've never seen eyes like those."

"..Back in Derse.. being unique is what makes you a target."

Jade frowns, and John's face turns confused and saddened at the same time. He speaks up, more quietly and less excited than before. "..What's it like there?"

I sigh. "I don't know how to describe it. I've lived there my whole life, so I don't know what's different between there and here."

"Well.. you say being different is a bad thing; what was it like to be different there?"

I pause for a moment in thought, considering what to say. "I can tell you what it wasn't like.. it wasn't good. The Commission tried its hardest to keep everyone the same, keep people from coming up with new ideas -– to prevent spreading thoughts of rebellion I guess. When me and Rose were about one or two, my mom had forgotten to put on her sunglasses one morning before she went out.. some of the teenagers down the street killed her."

I hear Jade gasp, but I'm not looking up anymore so I can't see any physical reaction from either of them. I don't want to. John's the first one to speak up, and I can hear a strong undertone of anger in his voice. "Why would they do that?!"

I shrug weakly. "She was different. I think they thought she was possessed.. that was dad's first reaction when he saw them, and I'm guessing a lot of people would think the same thing. Most people don't have bright pink eyes."

"But that just means you guys are albino or something!"

"..albino?"

John hesitates, not knowing how to answer. "You.. don't know what albino is? You're very obviously albino!"

Shaking my head, I look back up again to see both of them, their sadness and confusion directed straight at me. My face burns with embarrassment. "It's not my fault I've never heard the word," I try to defend myself, "I don't talk to other people often because everyone leads pretty private lives, and I've never heard my family mention it."

"You didn't hear about it in school?" Jade speaks up, sounding like someone punched her in the gut.

My own confusion wraps around my brain a few more times, and I tilt my head slightly as I think of where I've heard the word before. I can't place its definition, and finally I give in. I'm going to sound stupid a whole lot more often if I end up sticking around these two, so one more precursor couldn't hurt. "School?"

John's eyes widen, and Jade's mouth hangs open as she slams me into a hug. "They didn't even have school?! Oh my god this place sounds like the government's bitch! They didn't teach you anything?"

I feel slightly offended at he implication that I'm a moron because no one taught me anything, but I know she didn't mean it like that and toss the thought away. "I learned everything I know from watching people and hearing things they say." Jade shakes her head, arms still wound tightly around me, and I feel too confined for comfort. I gently shift and she seems to get the message, because a second later she lets go of me and backs up, but continues to hold me by the arms so that I'll look at her.

"We're totes going to home school you or something. School is important!"

John laughs. "I think a lot of kids would disagree with you, Jade. People would probably envy him."

She sticks her tongue out at him, then turns back to me. After a brief glance back at my face, presumably to look into the eyes she can't see, she lets go completely and goes back to how she was sitting before. "Your life sounds so... controlled."

I can't hold in the laugh that I choke out. Controlled is an understatement, especially now that I know it isn't like that everywhere else. "That's exactly how the Commission wanted it. And that's exactly why we left. No one is allowed to be an 'exception to the rule,'" I bitterly think to myself that that's why I had never heard the word 'albino,' "because being the exception means that there is more than one way to live life, and that makes people question the Commission."

John looks at me somberly for a minute, before slightly smiling again. "I get the feeling that you will like it in Prospit. It's nothing like what you've described Derse is like."

"What's nothing like Derse?" I jump and turn sharply in embarrassment. I would recognize that voice anywhere, and I watch as Roxy and Rose walk up to the three of us. "Care to introduce us to your cuddle puddle here, Davey?" Her eyes are narrowed in suspicion and laced with cautiousness.

Jade's face lights up at seeing Rose, and she jumps up and practically shrieks in delight as she barrels into Rose to give her a hug. "Finally! Another girl my age!!" Her excitement isn't exactly mirrored in Rose's confused face as she turns toward me, silently asking for an explanation.

"This is.. Jade and John. They, uh, found me in the forest." Rose raises as eyebrow. That's judgement I feel, yup. Kindly back off, Rose. She stares at me as if to ask 'why did you bring them here and why did you tell them about Derse?', so I continue. "They, um.." I yet again try to find the words to be the least smooth operator there ever was, so I decide that maybe showing them something would help more, and I pull the sandwich from earlier out of my pocket. Roxy and Rose's eyes go wide as their stares rip away from the faces of the newcomers and settle onto the food in my hand. "They gave me food, an-"

Roxy interrupts me by grabbing the sandwich away as soon as she heard the word 'gave,' as if it was tacit permission that she could eat it. She rips off a half -– pausing to look at me to make sure I wasn't planning on having some as well, and I shake my head -– and gives it to Rose as she shamelessly shoves the other in her mouth. Jade backs away to give Rose some space while she eats, and John speaks up. "He looked like he was starving.. so we offered to let him stay with us," this seems to get their attention, and they look back up from the sandwich halves they had nearly finished, "and the offer stands for all three of you."

"We don't have any money." Roxy states firmly, and I realize that I hadn't thought of that. They must want something for offering to let us stay at their house and likely mooch off their food.

John shakes his head back and forth rapidly. "No, no! We're not trying to rent space or anything, we just don't want you guys out here in the forest alone.. there's bears and stuff and not really anything to eat."

Suddenly I feel very lucky that we didn't happen to run across any animals other than these two. A bear coming across us when we're skin and bones like this would not be good.

Roxy finishes off the last bit of her food and then steps closer, leaning in to stare at John's face. He stares back without wavering, with as serious of a look that a dork in glasses with buck teeth could have. After engaging in an awkward silent staring contest for what feels like forever, Roxy smiles. "You're an alright kid. Thanks for inviting us to have a place to stay; we'll accept."

Both Jade and John smile at the answer. "Let's go get you guys something to eat, then! Dad loves cooking and baking, I'm sure he'll enjoy having more people around who actually want to eat his cake." I must look confused, because he adds: "It's not bad or anything; he's a great cook. I'm just so tired of cake!"

 

–

 

It's approaching the evening as we head away from the camp and toward the town. I had asked John for paper and a pencil while Roxy and Rose took a moment to gather their few things and slide on their sunglasses. He pulled a small backpack off his back and rifled through it, mumbling about how it was a good thing he brought his school bag. As we left I shoved the paper in my backpack and slid it off my shoulder to set it carefully in the shelter, then hurried back to John to return his pencil. Either no one saw me do this or no one wanted to comment.

Heading toward the town, I felt exposed. Ever since what happened to mom, no one in our house had wandered very far away from home, and this was most certainly far from home. I look over to John, walking beside me, and he smiles like he had earlier -– bright and excited. At least he seems comfortable.

Jade walks ahead of us with my sisters, and they chat quietly about things I can't hear. They're probably talking about the town, but there's little need because through the trees the shapes of buildings start to form. I look up, and then keep looking up. And up. They're so much taller up close like this than they were when I was miles away, seeing them for the first time atop the hill. John laughs. "Come on, our house is this way." He grabs my hand and pulls me farther into the city and away from the safe forest edge, and I note dully that touching like this seems common to people who live here.

It feels nice, so I don't complain.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! After a lot of things going on in my life, I finally graduated from high school a little under two weeks ago. Between getting ready to head off to college in New York (across the country from where I am now.. yikes) I'll have some free time until I have to fly out in mid-August some time. So.. I figured, why not write? I missed AO3 c:
> 
>  
> 
> This turned out a bit short, but it ended where I wanted it to. The next chapter will be longer, promise!
> 
>  
> 
> Also: I really want to start recommending other fanfictions since I've read so many good ones, so I'll do that with each chapter from now on. This chapter I'd really like to point people toward Another Me by Johnegdaddy. It was recently completed and I'd been following it for awhile; it has JohnDave and DirkJake (you will probably notice a theme in these pairings in the fanfictions I recommend.. guilty) and it can be found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/752245/chapters/1404631


	5. Room to Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I changed my username from Geschichte (a German word) to something more pronounceable (and Pesterchum-like). I wish AO3 had an easier way to change usernames without breaking links or anything, but oh well. On with the show!

If I can't be thankful for anything else right now, I can at least take solace in that it is getting later in the afternoon, and that means that there are less people around. It also means that people tend to care less about the other people around them I guess, because no one really pays attention to us as we all walk through town together. Even being the strange group that we are, with three near-death stark blonds clinging to their sunglasses as sunset approaches. We probably look like the evil vampires that the lady down the hall back at home used to screech about; I brushed off her babbling then, but I've always secretly wondered if creatures like that existed. Everything seems possible now that we're not "part of the Whole," and, in a way, it feels overwhelming.

Overwhelmingly awesome.

It's late winter and the sun still sets fairly early, so buildings all around us start to flick on their lights as we pass, as if they're each silently greeting us. The sun reflects across the long, sleek, brushed metal sides of each structure we walk, and it turns the whole city from the grey we had seen it as a week ago to a series of warm pastels. Anything warm is welcoming after our week in the woods, and I'm half tempted to close my eyes and just continue to let John guide me – he hadn't let go of me yet, and I was starting to feel like he thought I would run away if he did – but I want to see everything there is to see.

It's all so.. different is definitely a correct word, but it's not quite right. Colorful? Nothing back at home had much color, but here the sidewalks are lined with thin lush trees and small, portly shrubs, and the buildings are flattered by expansive neon signs that point every which way. Ahead, the road runs straight through the city and into the distance, and the hills seem to part fluidly like water so that the road can continue on its level trip through the land. There, the only place as far as the eye could see where the hills part, the sun is beginning to touch the road's end and spray everything around it with a venomous orange. I wonder idly if they did it on purpose. Maybe it was just the way it has always been – maybe it's just another part of this place being so perfect.

I think the best way to describe it would be to call it alluring. Very, very alluring. Alluring like an interesting trinket laying along the road that you have to investigate; alluring like a mystery with many odds and ends unknown. Alluring like freedom.

Maybe this place is the physical lodestone of freedom.

I half listen to John as we walk, still finding myself content in watching the world pass by around me. He mentions something about his neighborhood being on a small natural plateau near the middle of the city.

"It's the biggest suburban area in the city, so when people mention 'The Suburban' this is the place they're talking about," he laughs, "when you live around here you talk about it so much that people usually just shorten the name to S'burb. I guess we're all lazy." The name rings a bit of d _éjà vu_ in my head, but I'm so distracted by observing all the unique people walking by that I don't even really process the thought.

Everyone passing by is wearing something different. I've probably seen nearly fifty people in the last few minutes alone, and no one was wearing the same type of shirt, the same type of pants, the same shoes – no one had the same hair style, or even the same color of hair – no one seemed to think anything was wrong with any of this. I watch as two people bump into each other accidentally and both laugh, apologizing and smiling as they walk off. A pang of longing hits me as I realize what the world is actually supposed to be like. I can't help but look down, both not wanting to see everything that I've missed and not wanting anyone to see my eyes start to burn, despite having sunglasses on to hide them.

I look up when I feel a nudge to my side, and see John staring at me, still with a soft smile. "Hey, it's alright." I just stare at him, wondering where this came from. "All of everything before this.. it's in the past. You're here now, and here is a pretty great place to be."

My mouth jerks into a slight smile, and I nod softly to acknowledge him. I have to admit that the optimistic dork is right. Nothing before now can be changed, but everything after this moment is mine to control. Here is a pretty great place to be.

Here and now.

..After all, not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

 

–

 

After about fifteen or twenty minutes or so, John and Jade are excitedly skipping up the front steps of a simple house with simpler exterior, but as we walk with them I note that this seems to be the only door. The city seems very personable, so I guess families must live in close quarters in larger homes rather than separately in smaller homes like back with the Commission.

Feeling a bit like a stray animal two kids are trying to sneak into the house – more like a stray zoo if you count all of us, really – I feel a bit nervous as we follow them in. The house is warm just like the city, despite its plan outside walls. Warm colors and warm temperature help me relax a bit while John runs off, apparently looking for someone, and Jade turns back to the three of us.

"This is our house! Well, technically it's Mr. Egbert's house, but me and Jake stay here with his family because we came over so often anyway. We're John's cousins." Ew. I guess they're not considering joinment. I hope. Ew-

Wait.

This is.. a one family house? This huge thing?

A curvey, black haired girl about Roxy's age walks out of what looks like the kitchen, a wooden spoon covered in batter in her hand. She looks confused, and turns to Jade. "Goodness, what do we have here? I've never seen you three around town before." I can tell she's silently observing how our bright hair and sunglasses are hard to miss.

"They're, uh.. not really from around here."

"The nearest city is miles and miles away! Where did you three come from?"

"Derse."

Whatever she expected to hear, it wasn't that. I can tell by the way her face drops and her eyebrows crook upward slightly. "Derse? However did you get out of there?"

At least she seemed to know more about the place than Jade and John did. "With a lot of dumb luck and a hacksaw or two." Rose laughs, and this seems to reassure the other girl that at least part of that was a joke.

"You don't happen to be, um.." She glances at me momentarily, and at my confused look, she keeps talking. "-Well, I'm Jane, what are your names?"

I'm curious about what she was going to ask, but Jade pipes up to respond for us before I can say anything. "This is Dave, Rose, and Roxy," she smiles, "John, uh.. went to go get Dad so he could.. uh, well, we sorta.." she looks a bit guilty. Yep, we're the stray animals here. "We invited them to stay here since they.. can't really go back."

She pauses for a moment. "..You three look starved. Get in here and have some of the food I just finished." She smiles warmly, and it reminds me of John's smile. My best guess is that they're related, taking in context clues here.

Jade heads our four-person brigade into the kitchen as Jane slides a cake into the oven and then walks over to what appears to be dinner. I frown at seeing the amount, knowing that the three of us could probably finish that off easily with how little food we've had in the last week. Jane sees the frown and laughs. "I'll make more, don't worry about it. I like to cook. You three obviously need to eat, dig in!"

It takes a bit of coercing to get us to take the delicious smelling food, but not much, because, well, it's delicious smelling food. My stomach growls again as Jade hands me a plate. Greedy bastard. I hear you, I'm getting food, calm the fuck down.

Jane smiles and tells us we can take what we want and all we want, politely asks that we don't stomp so that the cake in the oven doesn't drop while it's rising, then mumbles something to Jade about needing to talk to someone as she leaves the room. Jade stays with us while Jane leaves, and she sits across from the three of us at the table, our plates loaded completely with a variety of foods I had never seen before in my life. I didn't care, so long as it tastes good I don't care what the fuck it is.

After a few minutes of us cramming as much food in our faces as we physically can while Jade chats to us idly about Prospit, John walks into the room with an older man behind him. I guess that's his dad. John smiles at us while his dad just seems a bit concerned.

"You three were in the woods for the last week?"

Roxy, having just swallowed the bite she had taken, speaks for us. "Yessir."

"The weather lately has been horrible," he notes, turning to John, "it was nice of you to offer them a place in our household; I am so proud of you." He smiles, then turns back to us. "We don't have any spare bedrooms since Jade and Jake moved in, but I'm sure no one in this house would mind sharing their rooms with you three. You're all welcome to stay as long as you need."

"Dibs on Dave!" John runs over before I can even open my mouth and barrels me into a hug from behind, almost knocking me off my chair as he grins, radiating with excitement. "We're going to play so many video games! And come up with all the best pranks! And, like, hang out and do bro stuff. And watch movies! Do you like movies? I have a bunch of really great ones!"

"Let him finish eating, son." John's dad laughs as he goes over to look at the cake in the oven, then begins to remake the diminished portions of dinner. Jane doesn't return to the kitchen until the timer on the oven echoes in the room, then she magically seems to appear again, a taller boy in black hair by her side. As she removes the cake and sticks a knife through its center to check to see if it's finished, the boy walks over to the table where everyone but John's dad and Jane are still sitting. He looks a lot like John, but he's older and has a more defined structure.

"Good evening, chums!" he smiles, and his strange way of talking strikes me – I've never heard anyone speak with a weird twist to their voice like that. It seems foreign. I wonder if they have a word for that here. He speaks up again once we turn to him, "my name's Jake, who would you three be?"

"These two are my obnoxious twin siblings Dave and Rose, and I'm Roxy~" She smiles and leans forward a bit, slightly blocking us from view because she's closer to his side of the table. I feel like kicking her under the table. Even I could hear that undertone in her voice, ew.

Right as she finishes talking, however, Jake's face falters for a moment, ever so briefly. Maybe it was because of the overly "I-want-to-get-to-know-you-better-winky-face ;)" way that Roxy had introduced us, but it didn't seem like that. It seemed like he had either heard something he hadn't wanted to, or was hoping to hear something that he hadn't. I guess he wanted more detail about us? John had said that Derse was a mystery to the people here, and with Jane having been gone so long I'm sure she must have told him that we weren't exactly from down the street.

He'll hear about it later. I'm pretty sure I can speak for all three of us when I say that we're all tired as fuck and just want to sleep in an actual bed again.

 

–

 

At around eight or so, the three of us are paraded upstairs in a half-awake state, full for the first time in what feels like an eternity and tired as fuck. Jade convinces Rose to share her room, and I convince Roxy to room with Jane despite her protesting, since the only other person left is Jake and that could get hell of awkward really fast.

I hope silently that I can just pass out and wake up at noon tomorrow or something, but the hope kinda dies in my heart as I walk with John into his room and he bounces over to his TV, proceeding to shove several movies in my face with a pout. This boy is the reincarnation of evil, I swear. A Strider needs his ironic beauty sleep, and ironic beauty sleep does not include movies.

After a half-assed argument to just get some fucking sleep I figure it's best to just give in, or he'll wake me up at some awful hour in the morning to make me watch a movie with him anyway. Having never heard of any of the titles he's going on about, I just let him pick the movie and sit back on a massive bean bag chair in front of the TV. He seems to have an intense inner debate as he thinks aloud to himself that he doesn't want to pick a movie that's too serious, but he finally settles on something called _Chicken Run_ and then plops down on the other half of the bean bag.

I've never really liked movies because so many of the ones back at home were obvious Commission brainwashing pieces that weren't worth the bother. I wasn't really expecting the same thing from the movies in Prospit, since the Commission isn't here, but I wasn't expecting this.

I was most certainly not expecting this.

People – well, chickens – plotting against the farmers who controlled them and killed them at will, trying to configure an escape so that they could be free. Betrayal, anarchy, and escape. Thoughts that the Commission would never have wanted in our heads. As I watch the movie, slightly taken aback by the stark difference with the movies that we had back home, I keep seeing myself in the main character. She doesn't give up; she wants out and she does everything she can to get out, even with the odds against her and people around her losing the same fight. As a bonus, she's unironically spunky and full of smartass sass.

As the movie goes on though, I stop comparing myself to her as she kisses the guy who had helped her escape the farm. Now embarrassed for comparing myself to her before, I look away from the screen and thank the darkness and my sunglasses for existing right now.

This new place is so different with its rules, and even though I'd wondered absently about them, I hadn't really fully considered the details of elements like joinment and comrade-ship. They have to be different here, judging by the way the relationship in the movie seems to go. Joinment back at home was more like the relationship between the two farmers who try to control and kill all the chickens; it was brutal and usually there was not a real connection between the people. It was business-like. The point was for tracked reproduction, so I guess that's what was to be expected, but this... it seems weird learning this from a movie about chickens, but even in this simple movie it's easy to tell that relationships in the real world are much more complex.

Never before have I gone from such an amazed euphoria to feeling so, so incredibly confused and alone. The jump makes me feel smaller and even less significant than ever.

As the movie ends and a black screen fades in with what looks like peoples' names floating across it in white, John gets up to turn the light back on – I hadn't even noticed he had turned it off, I was so caught up in the movie. He turns back around and I hear him walking back over to me. "So, did you enjoy the- ..hey, you okay?"

I mentally check myself. Apparently I had gone into staring blankly into the distance, and I refocused my eyes and then sharply tilted my head up and around to look at him. "Yeah man, tons of okay."

"It.. wasn't boring, was it?" he seems a bit put off.

"No! It was.. actually kind of refreshing for awhile. It's not like the movies back home."

He lets the 'awhile' part hang in the air, uncommented on.

"So.." he starts again, "I'm going to go grab a sleeping bag, then I'll show you where the bathroom is and dig up a spare toothbrush or something." I nod. So much for sleeping in a bed again.

A few minutes later I hear him bouncing up the stairs again and he walks back into the room, plopping the sleeping bag next to the bed and grabbing my arm to lead me out of the room again. It's like he thinks I don't know how to play follow-the-leader, geez. If anything, that's a game I've played all my life. Except with the Commission it wasn't so much of a game.

He leads me down the hall into a bathroom nearly as big as the kitchen back at the apartment, and I sincerely hope that this is the main bathroom. If not, I'm afraid to see what the other one looks like.

I stare at the clean, sleek tub and the neatly laid tiles on the wall along side it, then let my eyes wander around the other things in the room before I realize that John is standing by the sink trying to get my attention. I shake my head quickly and turn to him, taking the toothbrush that he hands me. _Of course the bathroom is big. This house has a lot of fucking people in it, especially now._

After a few minutes of freshening up we both head back to his room to get some well needed fucking sleep. As I go to grab the sleeping bag he stops me. "Nuh-uh! You're sleeping on the bed, the sleeping bag is for me."

I stare blankly at him. "What?"

"You get the bed! We already told you that that's fair; you had to sleep in the forest for a week so you get to sleep in a bed now."

I continue to stand there, and I'm sure that confusion and gratitude and a lot of other things all flick through my eyes, none of which he can see past my pointed shades. I glance over at the bed and notice how large it is, and I momentarily wonder if I should offer to share it, but even though the people here seem to be just fine with human contact I still have no idea if that's socially acceptable. That was something only people in joinment did in Derse.

With slight hesitation, I set the sleeping bag back down and crawl into the bed; the blankets are soft and the sheets all smell faintly like a morning breeze, fresh. They must wash the sheets often.

As I successfully try to get comfortable, and it isn't hard considering how fucking magical this bed is, John settles into the sleeping bag that he had rolled out neatly next to the bed. I hear him mumble 'good night!' through the fabric, and before long his breathing slows into a slow rhythm.

I've never been able to fall asleep very easily, but whether it's because I'm an insomniac or I was always afraid the Commission drones would come knocking I'm not sure. Tonight, though, I think I could manage to sleep a little early. My sight starts to drift into a narrow slit as my eyelids fight to block it out completely, and I curl a hand into the blanket, pulling it up against my face. It felt soothing. I vaguely wonder to myself if the smell comes from some fabric softener or if John just smells like this constantly. Maybe both.

I find myself quickly falling asleep to the scent of cold breeze and the lull of a quiet rain that starts up outside, untainted by the growl of an angry gutter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took me a little longer to write than I'd hoped, and not really much happened over the course of it, but I hope that it was less of a filler than the last one. There's a lot of things I want to get into, and there are some hints of that here, hope you guys can find them ;) I tried to make them a little obvious but not too in-your-face.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed! I will be starting on chapter 6 soon, and as always comments are very appreciated.
> 
> Also, the recommendation for reading this time is another JohnDave, although this one is less serious and more of hilarious and very quotable in a good way. It's called "John: Get the Last Word" and is by VastDerp. It can be found here http://archiveofourown.org/works/272775/chapters/431296


	6. Ridicule and Swag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter has taken so long; as I said before, I've just started as a college freshman across the country, and I'm aiming on going through a pre-med track, which takes a lot of work! It's a bit daunting, but now that the first semester is over I feel like I'm finally settling in. Hopefully this means updates again – I will not simply abandon this fic!
> 
>  
> 
> Today's chapter brought to you by “Can I still type efficiently with all the keys on my keyboard plucked off so I can't see the letters?”
> 
> By the way, the answer is yes.
> 
> What does this mean in the grand scheme of things?
> 
> It means I spend too much time on the computer.

I get the strange, _strange_ feeling that John cracked open the blinds in the middle of the night so that the sun would wake me up before noon. I also get this _really strange_ feeling that he completely zipped up his sleeping bag so that it wouldn't wake _him_ up. _How strange_.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed, my feet bumping into his side with what I hope is enough half-angry force to make up for him not hearing all of the strong inner-sarcasm I'm throwing around in my head right now. Unfortunately, all he does is grumble and continue to sleep. What a prick.

Also unfortunately, I can't find it in me to really be too mad at him. I feel more awake and alert than ever – that was a pretty non-debatable case of the best night's sleep I'd ever had. Free and in a fine quality bed that smelled like a fresh breeze, to top it all off.

Right now, though, instead of how great I slept all I can really think about is how badly I need a shower. A week in the forest with only mediocre bathing in the local pond tends to have that effect.

I look at the clock on the night stand by the bed, and barely keep my straight face when I note that it is a _pleasant_ 7:12 in the morning. I make that mental note with a not so pleasant feeling toward John. With that in mind, I not-so-quietly make my way to the bathroom and lock the door, not really feeling tired enough to go back to bed and not wanting to wallow in filth any longer. Bro would have scolded the shit out of me for being dirty for so long; I might as well take advantage of the unholy hour and make use of the local pluming.

Pulling off my clothes, I wince at the smell. These definitely need washing.

I make the obvious brilliant yet lazy decision to toss them in the sink and run the faucet so they can have their own bath, then walk over to the tub to start warming the water. I look over the various forms of soaps to determine where usable bottles of shampoo and conditioner are, and run across a body soap that smells particularly nice. Walking back to the sink, I unceremoniously pour a fair amount of that in with the clothes. Take that, foul odor. I have bested you.

 

–

 

Half an hour of heavy scrubbing and de-scummification later, I pull the lever on the bathtub faucet to stop the shower and step out, grabbing a towel from the small pile that was sitting on a table by the sink. It feels so nice to just be clean for once, and I take a moment to just take a deep breath and relax, letting my head fall back and my eyes close.

About half way through the shower I had gotten out to rinse the clothes and twist the water out of them, and had wrapped them in towels so that they could sorta dry. The whole process felt a little uncouth honestly, since they very likely had a laundry room somewhere, but I couldn't be bothered with it once I'd already taken my clothes off. Redressing takes too much effort.

I grip the towels around the clothes to try and pull as much water out of them as I can, but they're still significantly damp when I toss the soaked towels in the hamper. Unsatisfied, I pick up the blow dryer on the sink edge and go back and forth between drying my hair and attempting to dry the clothes. I make another mental note that this doesn't work very well.

Sighing, I wrap the towel around my waist even tighter and gather up the damp clothes in the arm that isn't holding the towel up. I scold myself for making this likely stupid decision as I carefully leave the bathroom in search of a laundry room. It doesn't seem like anyone else is awake yet – and why the fuck would they be, it's probably not even eight yet – and it plays in my favor as I walk through the kitchen and into another room where a washer and dryer sit.

I pump my fist into the air in silent victory as I walk over to the dryer and unload the dry clothes already sitting in it, sloppily placing them on top of the washer and plopping my own clothes inside in their absence, setting the cycle for about fifteen minutes just to have the fabric dry enough to wear. About two minutes in I decide that I'm tired of the towel and stop the load, pulling out my boxers; the fabric was thin enough to have already mostly dried by now, so I pull them on and toss the wet towel over to the small pile of other clothes that need to be washed. It only takes me about another minute to get too lazy to stand, so I hop onto the dryer to wait for the load to finish.

That's when the luck I'd had so far runs out.

I jump when I hear a small sound by the door, and I look over to see John with a basket of clothes in his hands, face slightly red in embarrassment and an apology on his lips. “H-hey, sorry, I thought my dad was doing laundry and I wanted to have him clean my clothes..” he glances away, clearly wanting to be anywhere but here. I can't blame him, because the feeling became mutual after I realized too late that I had left my glasses upstairs in the bedroom. The only thing blocking me from the world right now is an unwelcomely thin piece of fabric, and I can't say it's the most comfortable feeling with another person in the room.

John seems to agree, judging by the expression on his face, so I awkwardly try to throw out an explanation. “My clothes smelled awful this morning so I figured I needed to wash them. It's been awhile since I've been able to.”

He nods, then laughs as he glances over at the tatty clothes spinning around in the dryer, “We need to take you guys shopping today.”

 

–

 

I hate clothes. Here, let me clarify: clothes are awful, usually uncomfortable, cheap pieces of work in the most bland of colors, and they honestly nearly make me want to streak instead of wear them. They're a waste of money, they take up too much space, and they're all around awful.

I can't describe how much I hate clothes.

Commission clothes.

But I'll start a clean slate, because, walking into this store, I fucking love clothes.

The whole group had decided to tag along as Jade and John thoroughly convinced the household that we did in fact need some new fucking clothes, and the whole situation started to become actually.. exciting. John and Jake had “taken me under their wing,” as they had put it, to find clothes that would “suit a strapping young lad like yourself!”

I'm not sure if I'll ever get use to the way Jake talks. John says people call what he has an “accent” and many people actually like it – because it's different. Which is still a strange thought.

I wonder if we had an accent, too; a Dersite one. Being different here sounds like a cool thing.

None-the-less, I couldn't really complain as they helped me along the large, crowded aisles in search of something that would both fit and look unique. Jane and Jade took my sisters on a similar run on the other side of the store labeled “Ladies Section.” Roxy seemed extremely enthusiastic to have matching colorful clothes at her disposal for once, and I couldn't help the smile that perked across my lips as the female group departed on their own adventure.

Unfortunately the smile left once I realized I actually had to _try on_ all of these clothes that were being picked out for me.

John just laughs as I express my disdain for this with a solid groan and a dramatic fall to the ground in front of the dressing room; I had every intention of using this to dissuade them from forcing me into this torture, but apparently it's merely encouragement. They both grab an ankle and drag me in, laughing all the way at the strange looks the employees are giving us.

Right as they almost have me through the doors though, my eye catches something I hadn't seen before.

“Wait!”

I grab onto a door frame and yank my ankles away, stumbling forward and grabbing a shirt off a rack nearby, then turning back and following the two in willingly. They hesitate, confused, but don't question me as I grab the closest dressing room and lock myself in.

They both make upset sounds at the click of the lock. “You better come out and show us what you're trying on!”

“Yeah, yeah...” I turn the shirt I had grabbed over in my hands, then toss it in the corner of the small room, reaching for a pair of cargo pants.

 

–

 

After about an hour of ruthlessly trying on clothes of various size and color, at the mercy of whatever John and Jake decided would look somewhat decent (and a few that they knew would not look anywhere near decent on anybody, just for kicks), I have several pairs of pants and shirts and other pieces of clothing to hold me off for a good while. More than a good while, in my opinion.

I turn to the mirror and admire one of the outfits I had arranged – dark, “skinny” jeans as John had called them, contrasting next to the pair of red converse the girls had run across the store to excitedly shove in my face. The shirt wasn't quite right, though; it was jet black, making me look even more pale and weird than usual, and the sleeves were short, which bothered me in cold weather like this. I never was that fond of the cold.

Sighing, I go to pull off the shirt and put together all the clothes I'd decided I wanted, but I stop when I see a lump of red and white in the corner. Tossing off the black shirt, I grab the new one – the one that I had grabbed at the last second before I was dragged off to the dressing bunker of hell. I had somehow almost forgotten it, but I'm really glad I hadn't as I pull it on over my head to examine the fabric against my skin. The sleeves are red and the torso is white with a broken record across the front; my lips shift up in a small smile. I'd never seen a shirt anything like this before, and that's what makes it so perfect. That, and my love of music drew me to the print across the chest of it.

The shirt is unique, and it's me.

The Commission would have had a bitch fit.

I quickly toss the clothes I don't want over the stall door and onto my two 'chauffeurs' with a grunt of “found what I want, put these back” as I carefully remove the last outfit and dress back in my old one, folding each of the new pieces of clothing neatly into a small pile, and setting the converse on top.

As I walk out with the stack in hand, Jake grins. “Have fun? Looks like you've quite the haul!” I nod at him and walk past the two, looking out into the store to see where the girls are finishing up their run too. John walks up behind me and grabs the stack, heading to the check-out line, with myself not far behind.

“You've got to let me pay you back some how, dude.”

“Not necessary, clothes are essentials!”

“It's so necessary. You guys are already housing us and shit, it doesn't need to be complete charity here.”

“You don't have money, just accept the gift!”

“I can work!”

“Where are you going to get a job without any papers? Derse doesn't sound like the sort of place that will just give them if you ask because you want a job in the real world.”

I flinch, rubbing the back of my neck. Shit, hadn't thought about that. How the hell was I going to get a job? We hadn't even considered that when we'd left.. we'd just wanted out. “..I'm sorry, man-”

“Stop, don't apologize! I'm guessing it wasn't top priority, it's fine. Just accept our help for awhile while you guys kinda settle in.. we can handle the money issues for awhile,” he smiles, shifting the load in his hands. “We can afford it, dude. Relax and let us handle it. Sounds like you guys have been through enough as it is.”

I stare at him as he continues the rest of the distance to the check-out counter, and I don't know what to say. I hadn't really experienced before the sort of kindness these people had shown us, and I don't know how to react to it, but as I turn back to where Jake is and see the girls with him – smiling and laughing and joking with each other – I realize I can learn to accept it fairly easily if this is what I can expect.

Prospit isn't like Derse in a lot of ways. It's different than everything I've ever known, with its people and its style and its colors and its culture and its homes and its landscape. It's distinctly foreign to me in every sense I can think of.

And it's become pretty obvious to me that that's why I'm starting to love it so much.

 

–

 

We returned home early in the afternoon, with the sun still pretty high in the sky and the buildings bright with the reflections of the sun and the trees and the people walking by. It's much prettier during the day when you can see everything, but it's certainly nothing to complain about at night, either.

I can definitely get use to a place like this.

Walking back into the house at last, I immediately grab the bag with my clothes in it and head into the bathroom, changing into the shirt and jeans I had enjoyed the most at the store. John laughs as I walk down the stairs barely a minute later, hands in my pockets and a confident smirk on my face.

“Obviously you have a problem with perfection, man, this beauty is nothing to laugh at.”

He covers his face with his hand to hide a smile, “oh I have no problem, it's just funny that you went to change into them so fast. Glad you like them!”

“Davey you can't be the only one having fun with your new clothes, I wanna swap too!” Roxy heads up the stairs quickly and stops in front of me at the bathroom with a grin on her face. “You look p swag, Davey. isn't swag a cool word? Jade let me look at their cool internet on her phone and I saw people using it! Like, people TALK with each other on the internet!”

I raise an eyebrow at her, but she's already swooping past me into the bathroom muttering about probably needing to shower first so her clothes don't smell awful, and the door is shut a moment later. Rose laughs quietly to herself from the bottom of the stairs. “I'm assuming you had a good time too, David?”

“Rose, my name isn't David.” I was pretty sure she knew that, but I couldn't be sure I guess. It's not like we used names growing up.

“Oh, but I think I prefer that one. Jane asked me if that was your full name, and I rather like it. It's more graceful sounding. It makes up for your face.” Rose and Jane then make their way into the kitchen, laughing.

I turn to John, horrified. “Dude, I think our sisters are ganging up on me.”

“We're a house of pranksters, can't be helped!” he quips back in a sing-song voice, obviously enjoying my suffering and not feeling merciful in the slightest.

“If we're going to survive against these out-numbering girls, we have to stick together as men, geez. Are you playing for the other team?”

John sputters for a moment – even though I didn't say anything bad that I know of? – but Jake steps in, seemingly oblivious to whatever made John react the way he did. “Absolutely not!” Jake heads over from where he was unlacing his boots by the door and swings an arm around John's shoulders. “We shall win this valiant war, good lads, and we shall win it with gentlemanly excellency!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are highly appreciated and urge me to write! A nice comment has been known to bring me back from hiatus as well ;) just sayin'.
> 
>  
> 
> For this chapter's recommendation, I'd like to point you all in the direction of “First Door Down” by thesunmaid, which can be found here http://archiveofourown.org/works/654974/chapters/1193269 . Surprise surprise, it's another JohnDave fic. It started off a bit slow for me, but it got really cute and I really enjoyed it. It's one of those fics that I lost sleep over trying to finish, and I regret nothing.


	7. Recovering and Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just under two weeks from the last update; I'd say this is a timely event that has just occurred here! I will try not to put updates too spaced out from here on, as long as college work load allows me to do this.

As the afternoon waned, things settled down around the house. Rose and Jade went off to their room forever ago to go to bed, and Roxy and Jane were currently chatting quietly as they left the living room to do the same. Now that it was finally down to just the men in the house – except John's dad, who had gone to bed early because of work the next morning – Jake excused himself. Now it's just John and me, staring absently into the TV at “the Discovery Channel,” which Jake had insisted on watching. After he's up the stairs, we both share a look, and then John reaches for the remote and turns it off.

It's still a weird feeling, seeing documentaries of uncensored information and shows with conflicting opinions, all wrapped up into what the people here call cable television. It's almost scary to watch when you constantly have the feeling that you've snuck into a secret archive to get your hands on shit like this. I still can't say it's my favorite thing to watch, though. I kind of want to see another movie like the first one John showed me.

I jump out of my thoughts when I feel a light poke to my shoulder, and turn to see a smiling John staring back at me.

..that still feels weird, too. To think of the first name of someone other than my family.

John speaks up while I'm not paying attention. “want to head to be-”

“-what's your last name?”

We both speak simultaneously and then blink in the silence that follows. I suddenly realize too late that that's probably a strange thing to have asked.

“..it's... Egbert. John Egbert, why?”

“Egbert.” Comrade Egbert.. that sounds wrong, somehow. “..Sorry.. I'm just... not used to using first names.”

“Would you prefer I called you by your last name then, Mr. Lalonde?”

I roll my eyes. He's still playing on the girl pun, I guess. “You've acknowledged that I'm a guy by saying mister, and yet you used my sister's last name?”

He pauses for a moment, eyebrows furrowed, and he straightens up and looks like he has something important to say. All that comes out is a dignified “..what?”

“What?”

“Why wouldn't... you two have the same last name?”

“Do you and your sister have the same last name?”

“Well, no, but that's kinda unusual..”

“It's normal in Derse... what's up with last names here?”

He laughs a bit to himself. “I never thought of it being any different, I guess, but it's a different culture so it makes a bit of sense I think... here, and in most of the rest of the world I think, when people marry the girl gets the guy's last name and so do the kids.”

Marriage must be their word for joinment, but somehow I get the idea that it's not quite the same as joinment was back home. “That's so..” different, I guess, but it's not too much of a stretch really. Even if everyone was suppose to be 'equal' back home, men kinda dominated society there, too.

“What's it like in Derse?”

“Guys and gals keep their last names, and the guys get their dad's name and the girls get their mom's name. Allows us to keep track of lineage or some shit.”

“So what's your last name?”

“..Strider.” The memory of the Commission screaming that name into the night definitely doesn't echo in my head as I convey that. “..I want people to use my first name, though. ..we didn't really get to use it in Derse. Not everybody even had one. It wasn't even fucking _legal_ to have one, but here it's like 'hi my name is so-and-so, what's yours' right off the bat.. it seems like everyone does?”

John nods, but with a somber expression that betrays the mirth normally behinds his voice. “Yeah, everybody needs one! It identifies you from everyone else.”

I nod, smiling slightly. “..The independence you guys have here is hella sweet.”

He smiles sadly for a moment, seemingly lost in thought, before speaking up again. “How about we talk about where we're from instead of going to bed? If you're going to be here you should know what it's like, after all, and... I'm kind of curious about Derse!”

“There's not much to be interested in,” it's a horrible place. “Can't you just put a label on the name that says 'don't ever go there' and be done with it?”

“Nope!” He laughs, shoving me playfully as we both stand to head to his room, “Plus, I want to know more about you, too.”

My stride falters for a moment. “That's... allowed here.”

John nods, smiling for reassurance. “If someone is willing to tell you, you're allowed to know it. And I'd like to know more about the guy right next to me!”

Alright, so maybe that struck a chord with me. After all, who back home would have wanted to talk about their life as an individual? People who wanted to get shot, that's who. Inside my head I can feel the strain of conflicting information, telling me to tell him nothing so that neither of us is a target.

But here..

here is different.

Here is different.

“..I'd like to know more about you, too.”

 

–

 

“-thanks again for... you know, letting us stay here and all.” I scratch the back of my head, feeling a bit awkward. “It's just.. if you let us stay here forever we probably would, and that's gotta be some sort of burden. What's the time limit on this?”

John's eyes widen, and he shakes his head. “It's not a time limit! You guys.. you need some place to stay, you know? We can't just boot you to the streets!”

“In all honesty, you could.”

“That wouldn't be fair, though.” He looks frustrated. “And if I kicked you out at this point, what sort of friend would I be?”

Oh god.

Here it comes again: impending awkwardness.

“...Alright, so, I know I've probably sounded pretty stupid over the last couple of days-”

“-because obviously that's a new feeling to you-”

“-shut up, asshole. I'm asking a question.”

“Ask away.”

“What's a friend?”

A blank stare.

Yup, I'm stupid. Let's start a tally board to keep track of all the dumb shit I say. The numbers are probably getting into the double digits by now – and that's just including what I've said since I've been here.

“What's a friend?” he echoes in concern.

“Hey, don't ask me, you're the one who used the word.”

He pauses. “A friend is someone who... who you get along with. Someone who has your back and you have theirs.” He grins wide, “and I get the feeling that we're going to be great friends.”

“..like.. a comrade, but a biased one?”

“Comrade? No no, that just sounds Communist.. friends are more than just allies!” at the slight tilt of my head he seems to understand that I didn't know that word either. “-I'd define Derse as Communist, from what you've told me. Communist societies are formed on the thought of 'equality of all' but they don't really turn out that way in actuality. Usually it turns into the government controlling everyone.”

“Sounds like Derse.”

He nods. “I don't want to just be an ally, I really want to help you guys! As a friend who wants to see you do well just because!”

The thought makes something in my chest feel a bit tight. Learning new words is becoming my favorite thing – all of the ones John's taught me have not disappointed. “..So... friends, huh?”

“Like best bros! Friends that are so close they're like brothers.”

“Best bros.” I smirk slightly, until I remember Dirk and the expression falters. My hand goes to the edge of my glasses, so much like his were, and I look away.

“..Dave?” I make a small sound of acknowledgment, but don't look up. He hesitates, then asks the question I think he's been meaning to ask for awhile now. “..Why do you still wear your sunglasses? Your sisters took theirs off after we got to the city.”

“A lot of reasons.” Some of which I'm not sure if I could talk about without sounding pathetic. “My eyes are sensitive to light, they're an evil looking color, and because... the glasses remind me of someone.”

“..Jade mentioned that she was talking to your sisters how it must have been hard on you growing up with more girls in the house than guys, and she told me Roxy had this weird look on her face... does it have to do with that?” He tries to broach the subject gently, but he still doesn't seem to fully understand.

“..Our parents are both dead.” I state, and he nods slightly, as if he had already gathered this. “But... there was someone who took care of us.” I pause, looking down, and pull the glasses off of my face to rest in my hands. “..Someone I should start to move on from.” _Or it's going to take over my life._

“..Maybe we could take that one step at a time, then.” John offers, trying to not delve further into the topic than I would like. I silently thank him.

“And what would the first step be?”

“Switching your glasses seems to be the most obvious. And now that you're here.. don't you want your own look?” There's a tacit _maybe he would want you to be an individual, too,_ but neither of us points it out.

But maybe..

Maybe that's something I should try.

I nod, and he smiles and stands, heading over to his closet and digging through it.

A few moments later, he pulls out a box and sets it on the floor in front of me, pulling open the cardboard folds and searching through it. When his hands emerge again, they're holding a pair of sunglasses with large lenses.

“This is my box of stuff that's been in movies.. I really like movies.” He smiles slightly, as if this fact has become a bit of a joke to point out, then holds out the sunglasses in front of me. “These are one of a kind! If you really want to be an individual... something unique is a good start!”

Carefully taking the glasses in my hands, I turn them over, admiring them. I had seen some dude wear a pair like these on a poster in town, but these were special.

I slip them onto my face where my other pair used to be.

John may say they're special because someone really famous wore them,

but I think they're special because they're from John.

 

 

–

 

 

We talked about a lot of things over the next hour or so – what kids are like at this age in Prospit versus Derse, what school's like, and how our childhoods went (except there was a careful skirting around the topic of Dirk). I noted that John seems to be close enough to his cousins to consider them practically siblings, and I'm not going to lie when I say him possibly considering me a “best bro,” one of those sibling-level people, in the future is starting to become a goal of mine.

He's someone I think I would enjoy being close to. Close to someone like I was never allowed to be in Derse.

Comrade is a dead word to me, now. Best bro is where it's at.

But right now, we're just two green nubby buds on the branch of friendship (or some shit like that) on their way to the bathroom to brush up and get ready for bed at fuck all in the morning.

As we're heading out of the bathroom, though – and totally not flicking drops of water at each other from our still wet hands, because obviously we would not stoop to that level (often) – we both jump a bit when we find out we're not the only ones awake.

“Confound it! Ridiculous piece of machinery..” It's a bit faint and mumbled, but it's obviously Jake; it's getting pretty easy to tell from even just the words alone when he's the one talking.

John laughs quietly. “Wonder what he's doing up.. wanna go find out?”

“You mean do I wanna be a snoop? Hell yeah.” We both tip-toe toward Jake's room, where the door is closed but not all the way. John pushes it open a bit more.

“I can't believe.. come on now, please just be some wire-y doodad issue..” Jake is sitting at his desk, facing away from the door and fiddling with something that's making a weak static-like humming noise. He continues quietly grumbling to himself, and we try to keep as low a profile as we can. Our cover doesn't last forever, though, because when he says “oh for the sake of the dick gods!” we both lose it, and end up laughing and giving ourselves away. He turns around, face flushed as he rolls his chair in front of what he was working on. “Excuse you! It is impolite to eavesdrop, I'll have you know!”

“It's also impolite to use the name of the Dick Gods in vain.”

“Ha ha, John the wise ass, let's all applaud his witty comeback and ignore the line that was just crossed. Privacy is no longer sacred, I see!” He crosses his arms with a dramatic 'humph!' and pouts at both of us. “How long have you two been there?”

“Just a few minutes,” I respond, and move to the side a bit to try to get a better look at his desk. “What'cha working on?”

“This? Oh, it's nothing. I'm just.. trying to get the radio to tune into an old channel I use to listen to back home.”

“What channel?”

“Oh, something you probably haven't heard of. It was local. Now, it's late, the two of you should be off to bed!”

“Yes, mother dear,” John laughs at him and grabs my arm, pulling me back out of the doorway and toward his room again. Jake sighs slightly as we leave. The tone he spoke with reminded me of the air Dersites would have about them when they woke up from a thunderstorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so for this chapter since I'm nearing the end of my winter break at college I asked my twin to beta read this (since she's on break right now too, and we're both staying at our uncle's house together) and I nagged her for two days to read it and then she finally tells me she's done.
> 
>  
> 
> And then sends me this 'edited' version:
> 
> a single page with, and I quote, "then al com home an make hte sex"
> 
> And I proceeded to jump her and give her a thorough reprimanding.
> 
> That is the story of this chapter's past. 
> 
>  
> 
> As always, comments are appreciated! Chapter 8 is in the making.
> 
> Edit: Forgot my fic recommendation! "He Is Yours," by cinnamonsnaps, which can be found here http://archiveofourown.org/works/648726
> 
> It hits you right in the feels


	8. You Can't Run But You Can Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another timely update; I hope you all enjoy! Chapter 9 is half complete as well and should be up before long. I'm up to 100 hits per chapter! Accomplishment :)

The next day begins lazily. When I wake up, I see that the sleeping bag is missing from the floor and another bed's sitting across the room; maybe it was a spare they had around somewhere. I foresee giving John his bed back in the near future.

As I sit up and stretch, I feel something on my forehead, and I reach up to find a small sticky note stuck there. Pulling it off, I look at the scrawled blue writing explaining something about the grocery store. Better to go in the morning when there's less people out, I guess. Can't blame them.

Looking at the clock, I idly note that it's about eleven and wander downstairs. In the living room, Rose is writing in a small journal Jade bought for her while Roxy is plays with someone's phone. I plop down on the couch between them, and Rose quietly closes the little writing pad.

“Good morning. Finally ready to join us in the land of the living?”

“Oh, come on, it's not that late.”

“You've slept quite a lot is all.”

“Nah, I just stay up awhile. The night calls, and this man answers.”

“Mhm, sure..” she looks down to the book in her hands again before setting it aside. “I don't know about you two, but I think I'm adjusting quite well to Prospit. It's actually rather hard to find the time to sleep. There's so much to read, they don't hide anything about their history, and the people are so diverse and interesting.. it's fascinating, isn't it?”

Roxy finally looks up from the phone, grinning. “I'd have to say I like the computers the most! You can do sooo much with them, especially dork around on the internet! And, like, chat with people you've never met on there. It's awesome.”

“Maybe we should get the three of you phones!” Jane walks down the stairs, sitting on the last step near the couch to see what everyone's up to. “They're good for keeping in touch with what's going on in the world.”

I blink for a moment. “That sounds.. really cool, actually. That would be awesome, if it's not too much of a problem?”

She smiles, giggling a little. “Of course not, it'd be our pleasure! If you guys really want to get use to life here, you need a phone. Everyone has one these days.”

“I wouldn't say they're _essential_ , but they are quite convenient!” Jake hops down the stairs after them, walking in front of the couch and sitting on the ground. “Hanging out without me? I'm hurt!”

Jane rolls her eyes. “Don't lie, you probably just hopped out of bed yourself, didn't you?”

“I may or may not have.”

Roxy laughs, nudging his side with her foot. “Jig's up, Jakey did a no-no.”

“I absolutely did no such thing as a 'no-no'!”

“Yeah huh-”

She stops short of whatever she was going to say as the front door swings open quickly and John and his dad rush in, closing the door behind them.

My eyes don't miss Mr. Egbert locking it as John walks forward, looking angry but scared at the same time. “Everybody up. Could you guys find places for Rose and Roxy to hide? We... we'll explain later. Please.” John grabs my wrist and forcefully pulls me off the couch and toward the stairs, not answering any of my confused questions as Jake and Jane quickly shove my sisters off in different directions.

Only when we're in his room and he starts rapidly tossing things out of his closet does he finally answer me. John doesn't pause what he's doing while he explains. “We saw them. There were people at the store from Derse. They were asking about suspicious people around as if _you were some sort of criminal_ when obviously they're the criminals!” the tone of resentment that creeps into his voice surprises me a little.

For some stupid reason my mind actually thinks this act of protection is something I should question, and my mouth acts on it. “Well how do you know we're _not_ the criminals? Maybe you're being too trusting?!”

He pauses, turning around for a moment and looking at me. After a few uncomfortable seconds of staring me down, he shakes his head and turns back around, pulling more things out of his closet. “You're not. The look in your eyes the day I first saw you.. those people aren't the ones I want to side with. They're not my friends.”

My mouth snaps shut and I just watch him as he clears a spot on the floor, revealing a little hatch door. “This leads to a crawl space under the house that we use to fix pipes and stuff. They're going around and checking houses, so... we need to keep you guys hidden for awhile.” He opens the hatch and motions for me to follow, and I do, quickly stepping down into the narrow underbelly of the house without further questioning. I see his fists clench slightly as he stares into space, then he grabs his phone and hands it to me. “I set it to vibrate. I'll text you from another phone when it's clear, alright? And.. I'll bring down some things for you to be comfortable for awhile once everyone's situated.” I nod, and he smiles sadly before closing the hatch.

And then it's dark, and all I can hear are the sounds of him replacing his moved items and the draging of some sort of heavy object as it comes to a stop right above me, probably blocking the entrance from view.

Then all I hear are his footsteps running out of the room as I hear Jade yell somewhere that she found a good spot.

  


–

  


It feels like I've been down here forever when I finally hear things being moved above me again, even though it's probably only been ten minutes. John pulls open the door and helps me out of the hole in the floor.

“I'm sorry for just... kinda shoving you guys around, but-”

“It's fine man, you're looking out for us. ..just.. thanks. ..thank you.”

He nods, then stands and grabs some blankets he left in the corner of his room. “Here, it's probably a little dirty down there so here's a tarp to put down, and some blankets to use.. it has to be uncomfortable down there, but if you're out here when they come I don't know if we'll have time to make everything look like it hasn't been moved around recently, you know?”

I agree with him, and he pauses for a moment again. “Jane gave me her phone. Roxy and Rose are in separate places so it's easier to not find everyone. They have Jade's and Jake's phones.. you can check in with each other if you want. The numbers are programmed on my phone. Don't come out until I text you it's safe. And.. we should probably work to make everything look normal again, but we can text and stuff, alright dude? Don't feel like... we're just leaving you alone down here.”

I assure him I know he's doing what he can, and then before long I'm back down the hatch in a pile of blankets and darkness.

It's really, really dark.

  


–

  


The house is eerily quiet with three less teenagers running around, and it makes the rest of the people not in hiding feel more anxious than before.

With all three Dersites safely tucked away, Jake slumps onto the couch with an exasperated sigh and calls over John to take a break, too. They'd been jumpy for the past hour trying to work out the best places to hide and ways to hide those places.

“It's alright mate, they're all set for now. We're not going to let anyone get at them!”

John nods silently, but still looks uneasy.

Jade walks in and looks almost as angry as John was earlier. “It's been weeks, why are they looking now?! They've never come into Prospit looking for people before!”

“Maybe.. they're the first.” John adds in, thinking.

“Blimey, if they're the first after all this time I'm quite impressed. They're rather smart for never having had a proper education.”

Jane walks in, wiping her hands together to expel the dust that had collected on them from moving old furniture. “What do you think they're even telling people to get them to let them search their houses, anyhow? I mean, obviously we can't say no or it would look suspicious, but.. what's their supposed story?”

John grumbles. “I don't know and I don't want to hear it. They're lying assholes.”

“That's quite some strong sentiment for only having known these three for a few days, ol' chap.”

“I know, but...” he pauses, then his lips tighten into a determined line. “Have you guys talked to Rose and Roxy about that place? I've been talking to Dave a lot, and.. that place.. they can't go back. They can't. I don't even think they'd let them live if they found them, and.. they're our friends now, we can't just accept these people who are coming to try and take them all away!”

“Of course not John, we wouldn't just turn them in.. we're going to do our best, son.” The eldest Egbert walks into the room from the kitchen, having just returned from making sure Rose was somewhat comfortable in the laundry room cabinet, blocked from view by a false wooden backing that had been installed years earlier for pranking purposes.

Everyone contemplates what would look the least suspicious, and finally it's settled on that they'll start a movie up and fast forward a little way through it. Jake and John go and grab a bunch of snacks and blankets. Impromptu movie night. Definitely what's happening. Go the fuck away, Derse.

Not ten minutes later, there's a collective jump in the room as the doorbell rings. Mr. Egbert stands calmly, and makes his way over to the door with a collected face. The people on the other side are the ones that they were expecting.

One smiles, with one side of his lips curled upward, almost like a smirk.

“Hello sir, sorry to bother you, but we have a search warrant for the houses in this city. We've been told that this is one of the homes with a crawlspace. Show us the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. cliffhanger's, eh? Those are fun.


	9. Safe Haven

It's uncomfortable being down here.

Not uncomfortable in the sense that I don't have enough blankets or that the ground's too cold, but uncomfortable in the sense that I'm alone in the dark and I hear boards creaking and there's probably some rat with rabies down here what the fuck why am I down here-

I jump more than I'd like to admit when I feel vibrating in my pocket, and it takes me a moment to realize _oh it's that phone thing he gave me_ before I reach for it.

My eyes flinch at the unwelcome bright light of the tiny screen before I slowly focus them and see '1 text from Jane.' I think that's whose phone he said he had, right? Maybe it was safe to come out? I slide my finger across the screen, like I had seen Roxy doing with the other phone, and pull open the message.

“hide theyr comin dwn”

I blink. He could only mean one type of person.

No. No no no.

My eyes sweep rapidly back and forth around the dark area – an area they're sure to bring a flashlight into – and panic settles into the pit of my stomach. I'm in the middle of a dark, flat expanse, with a couple of thin support beams that would definitely not hide my body well. Where the fuck would a hiding place be? I look at the tough, black tarp that's spread across the entirety of the ground, protecting the house from moisture. I could try and rip through it I guess, but I doubt I could dig my way out in time. The dirt below it is probably super packed anyway.

The creaking floor boards get a little closer, and my mind kicks into overdrive on the adrenaline of fear. Tarps on ground. John gave me a tarp. Hide clues. Set distractions. Blend in. Plan: go.

My body moves nearly as instantly as the thoughts click in my head, and I gather the blankets and tarp in my hands and crawl as fast as I can through the dank area. My hand hits a support beam and I feel the gap between the wood and the end of the tarp, and I shove a blanket down under the material, between it and the ground, creating a bulge under the tarp. I fluff it up to look about my size, but not quite like a human shape, and then scramble hurriedly in another direction until I feel another beam, and give it the same treatment. I pluck up a few places of tarp as I go, desperate to make the disturbance look normal, but at the same time I hear my blood rushing in my ears with the panicked thought of _I'm done for_.

None-the-less, four blankets of shuffling around latter, I hear things being moved around upstairs somewhere. Just a little longer.

Finally, I run into a wall, and I guess it's the one next to the side of the house judging by the solidity of it. I feel around and find a stake in the ground and pull it out, freeing the tarp and allowing me to crawl under it onto the muddy packed ground. I pull the edge of the tarp John had given me just under the edge of the tarp on the ground, so that they blend together, and then use the extension of tarp to cover myself as I press as close to the ground and the wall as possible.

This is my only shot.

 

–

 

I feel my skin crawl as the two men walk in: one burly, the other a snooty looking guy, waltzing in the house as if he owns the place.

_You, sir, do not own this place. Dad does, and I'm pretty sure he isn't giving it to you any time soon buster._

“Well? Show us to the hatch.”

My eyes narrow at him and I grip my phone more tightly in my pocket, where I had been holding it in anticipation the whole time. Begrudgingly and with a feeling of dread in my stomach, I hesitantly wave at them to follow as I head to my room. I feel like I have a head full of empty and my imagination levels are suddenly non-existent. Why oh why can't a prankster's gambit work in situations like this?! Think of something! I have to show them the hatch or they'll know that they're here regardless, but I can't just let Dave be..

He's just learning how to be free, they can't end all of that and take away my friend.

A thought hits me and I shoot a quick, panicked text to Dave and hope he gets it in time.

Dad and Jade follow me up while the others loiter in the living room, unsure of what to do. To be honest, I don't even know what _I'm_ doing. Everything in me right now is telling me to turn and run, but they have a warrant. They would find the place anyway.

The thought of them killing Dave makes my blood run cold, and my heart sinks as I open the door to my room. “It's.. in the closet. Let me dig the stuff out so we can reach it.”

I move slow, but not too slow, just in case they get suspicious. It's kind of a menial pace, I guess, and I purposely drag everything across the floor so that Dave can hear. So that he knows he needs to hurry up and do whatever he is going to do to get himself out of this. He.. he just..

He doesn't really have a shot, does he?

“Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to make your underwhelming son go faster. We're not made of time.” Dad turns and blinks at the man, looking somewhat shocked at his sudden blatantly rude demeanor.

Oh, oh _fuck you_.

No, Dave's getting out of this, he can't lose to people like this. He's better than these douche canoes, and he needs the chance to prove it.

Finally dragging the last thing off of the hatch – the hulking magic chest that normally sits across the room – I back off and cross my arms. They can fucking open it themselves.

After a moment's pause, where it seems like they contemptuously process that I'm not going to open it for them, the burly one walks forward with a flashlight.

Right as his hand reaches the hatch, I guess my mouth sort of _slips._ “Make sure you don't get bit. We've had a raccoon problem down there lately.” Oops, did I just say that? How terrible of me.

The man retracts his hand briefly, looking horrified. “A _raccoon?_ ”

“No, not a raccoon. Raccoon _ **s**_ _,_ so be careful.”

He hesitates for another moment, before slowly reaching for the hatch again and lifting the lid slightly, as if to assess if anything will jump out at him at that very moment. When nothing does, he seems slightly relieved but remains tense.

My gambit raises a few notches as the snooty man backs away from the hatch, letting his partner be the meat shield.

With stiff hands, the man looking down the crawlspace pulls his flashlight in front of him and turns it on, quickly sweeping it over the area. “Oh god, I see their awful nests under the tarping.” He relaxes slightly, probably not seeing anything in sight, but only for a moment.

Because somewhere underneath me I hear a little sound, a chittering sound I can't place, and it's all I can do to suppress my laugh as the man tumbles backward, slamming the hatch shut. “Take care of your filthy pests! Inspection done.”

Both men look completely disturbed as they make their way back to the door and leave. 

The slow smile that crawls across my face as they close the door behind them becomes a grin.

 

 

-

–

-

 

 

My heart is still pounding in my chest, threatening to rip a whole in my existence, probably.

I still can't believe.. that actually worked. And it may not have even worked in the slightest if John hadn't of said what he did when he did. God I could kiss that guy right now.

Except, you know, that'd be illegal.

I don't move until I feel the phone vibrate in my pocket again, and pull it out to read “its safe oh my god ill be there in a sec hold on.” I snicker a bit to myself, hearing him fumble with the hatch and watching the light flood down from above.

“Dave I don't know what the hell you did down here but get your ass over here, man!”

I grin, pulling myself out of the tarp nest, re-staking the original tarp, and picking up the blanket mounds as I make my way back to the exit, tossing the stuff out of the hole. “'Sup, bro? Did I make a good animal sound?”

He grins as he helps pull me up out of the hole. “I'm so freaking glad you're alright! Those people were, like, total assholes and I hope I never see them again and I'm so sorry you spent your whole life with douche yachts like that and it must have really sucked but I guess you don't have to deal with them anymore and wow I'm really talking a lot, aren't I?” John makes kind of an embarrassed, apologetic face for slamming me with a wall of words, and I just laugh.

I straight out laugh like I never have before.

 

–

 

The rest of the afternoon is spent in relative silence; I still felt uncomfortable leaving the house – or even leaving John's room – so we decided to hang out together watching TV upstairs, and that was totally alright with me.

I lay lazily on my chest on the ground, half under John's bed and using it as a sort of pseudo-cave, with a pillow propping my head up so I can see the TV. John is sitting somewhere on the bed above me, but I haven't looked up to see exactly what weird position he'd decided to sprawl out in. We've been talking absently throughout the evening, avoiding venturing anywhere near the living room, where Jade and Jane had decided to introduce my sisters to “celebratory make-overs.” John said it wasn't anything I'd want to get involved in, and I took his word for it after the girls offered for me to join and gave me a predatory look.

They most certainly had plans I wanted no part in. Plus, staying upstairs and chatting the day away with John works just fine for me. I still can't get enough of the concept of speaking freely with someone else, and it must be especially because John is another guy my age that I feel so immersed in the conversations we have in particular. This is what kids my age should be like – happy and optimistic, with just a hint of friendly asshole, like John is. _I wonder if everyone's like that here, or if it's just him._

Sometime during the last few minutes of whatever we were watching – something about some guy with a time traveling machine? – I began to zone out, staring blankly at the TV and just absorbing the feeling of freedom that came with the Commission grunts leaving. They had checked this house off their list; they weren't coming back. It's my safe haven, now. My safe haven filled with most of the coolest people I've ever met.

All of the sudden every thing bad from my past doesn't seem to matter anymore.

I sigh contentedly and rest my head in my folded arms; I feel John poke my head. “You alright, dude?”

“Yeah, perfect. I'm awesome. I'm...” _I'm safe_.

He laughs. “If you're not paying attention to the TV we could try and immerse you a bit more in the pop culture of the outside world, if you want..”

“What do you mean?”

“The internet! Your sister seems to love it and I think you would too.”

“..Roxy says it's a big place. Where would I start?”

“Here..” he jumps up, walking over to his computer, “google something – it's a search engine everyone uses – it'll pull up anything you want to know, it's great.”

“Anything, huh?”

“Yup!”

I pull myself off the ground and plop onto the chair in front of the computer to set about typing, reading as I go. “why.. is... john such a dork.”

“Hey, I am not!”

I don't really expect much from the computer, but the [search results](https://www.google.com/#q=why+is+john+such+a+dork) come up with a few “urbandictionary” results. John continues to complain as I click on the first one for “[dorkbutt](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dork+butt)” and see definitions pop up.

The first one reads “an insult usually used playfully in a flirty nature,” and I blush a bit, and try to scroll past it before John can read it. Does dork have a different meaning outside of Derse?! I wasn't trying to flirt with him!

I land on the second one and read that, but it's no better. In fact it's a lot worse. _“Someone who is a dork butt is someone who enjoys a penis in his ass. Example: John is such a dork butt.”_

I blink for a moment while I process that.

In that same moment, John has closed the tab and pulled my chair away from the computer.

“..Isn't tha-”

He jumps in to interrupt me. “John is a common name and that site blows, end of story.”

“Dude what does dork mean here because it doesn't mean THAT where I'm fro-”

“It doesn't mean what the computer said it does!!”

“Then what does it-”

“It probably means the same thing as in Derse. The site makes up things sometimes, it has random slang. Now,” he sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “how about I show you a popular blogging site where people post stuff they like and make social commentary and stuff. That seems like something you'd like.” He walks back over to the computer, pulling up a new tab and typing something in as I roll my chair over. A dark, dull blue screen pops up with white boxes all over it.

“Here, this is Tumblr. Make an account or something and look around.” And with that, he leaves in an exasperated huff.

..I guess I'd be upset if some random site was accusing me of a crime, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that at the time of posting it, what Dave searched for was actually exactly what Google came up with when you search those things (links provided if you click the hyperlinks in the work).
> 
> It made me feel oddly accomplished.
> 
> Also, this adds a (albeit likely unsurprising) bit of knowledge about life back in Derse, and ends the cliffhanger..
> 
> ..we'll see about how long that lasts.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> EDIT: I forgot recommendations for this chapter in the last, so here they are! Something to read while I'm working on the next chapter.
> 
> First, if you're looking for a longer story, Photophobic Encounters by Plinoid, which can be found here http://archiveofourown.org/works/337489/chapters/545959, is excellent! If you want a shorter fic (or just can't get enough JohnDave), In Love With You Kiss by a_stands_for is one of the most adorable things I've ever read, and can be found here http://archiveofourown.org/works/374117/.


	10. I'm Going To Do An Internet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, wanted to get this out today! This will be part of a two parter since it got long, and the second part will likely be out tomorrow. This is yet to be beta'd since my beta is tied up, but I'll have the beta'd version up soon. For now, happy Single's Awareness Day!
> 
> EDIT: Has now been run through my snarky beta.

It was about the time that sun started peaking through the window that I realized I kinda forgot to go to bed. I wonder absently if John had noticed, and I turn around to see that at some point he had retreated to dreamland in his own bed while the computer had distracted me – it's brain-numbing screen a force to be reckoned with.

Can anyone blame me, though? I bet I'm not the first to say this thing is magical. Praise the mighty being that is the internet.

Speaking of which, my night on the internet was rather educational. And I have a few ideas before John wakes up.

 

–

 

==> Be the unsuspecting boy

 

I'm not quite sure I know, or want to know, what you mean by that, but it's sometime around nine when I finally wake up. I look over toward Dave's bed only to see a neat assortment of unwrinkled blankets and pillows, the bed tidy as if it hasn't been slept in – or he could have made the bed, but that seems unlikely – only that there's something there where a Dave should have been.

In my half-asleep state, it takes me a minute to process what the hell it is. I slip my glasses on to get a better look.

His pillow is propped up on the bed against the wall, a 'troll face' with crudely drawn sunglasses taped to it. I blink a few times while wondering _what the actual fuck, Dave_ before I notice that's not the only thing he did.

Looking around the room, I find various rage faces taped to _each and every face on my posters_. Some of which have speech bubbles pasted on the wall next to them.

On the computer is a loop of a youtube poop video on silent.

And there's a note on the door saying “i guess i came in like a wreaking ball.”

I get the feeling I will regret having exposed a certain Dave Strider to the internet.

 

–

==> Go back to being the troll

 

It's probably at least ten before I hear a few curses upstairs, and I suspect that John finally woke up. I laugh and lightly push Roxy in the side where she's sitting next to me on the couch. “Looks like he found my presents.”

“He's totes going to wish you never found 4chan.”

“I will be disappointed if he doesn't.”

“-Dave what the _hell-_ ” I can't help but start laughing again when I hear John's irritated voice coming down the stairs, and I hear him groan.

I tip my head back over the couch to look at him. “You mad, bro?”

“Yes I'm mad!” He huffs and tosses a pillow at me, and I just smirk.

Roxy joins my cause. “Such anger. Much pillow. Wow.”

“Oh god.”

“You look like that grumpy cat thing, Johnny-boy.”

“No, this is not happening. Why were you two let near computers.”

“Sorta your fault, dude. All I did was 'culture' myself like you asked, man.”

“This isn't cultured, it's like.. you two are becoming certified trolls.”

“You want a troll? I can troll, man.”

“Please no-”

“-and I can help!”

“that is _not_ necessary-”

Roxy jumps up before he can finish and starts after him chanting “TROLOLOLO” and I almost snort with laughter as John turns to run with a surprised squeak, and then I decide get up and join in too.

John lunges into his room, slamming the door shut and ramming himself against it to block us from following. “YOU TWO ARE ANIMALS!”

Roxy giggles, pausing in her chant to shout back. “CAN I BE A CAT, THEN?”

I scoff. “No, you need to be a fox, I wanna know what it says.”

“I AM SO DONE.”

 

–

 

It's about half an hour later before we convince John to finally let us in the room, and by then the shouting had drawn everyone in the house into the hallway. I love his family just a little bit more when John's dad convinces him to open the door, sounding angry, but then proceeds to cite more memes before John slams the door shut again.

He refuses to talk to me until I've carefully removed every rage face from each of his posters.

It was definitely worth it.

In an attempt to keep me away from the internet for awhile, though, he starts introducing me to video games. They're pretty interesting, but I'm not the best at them since he's obviously had much more experience at them than me. We're in the middle of a multiplayer Super Maro game (something like that) when I lose all my lives, and John takes over as the only player. It gives me time to think, at least.

We just got word today that the Commission grunts left Prospit and headed back to Derse; empty handed, of course. It's been a little over two weeks since we left that place, and about a week of that time has been spent in this house, which is a nice change from the crummy dank forest with poisonous berry death-traps.

I look over at John as he plays, his face tense and eyes focused, and I smile slightly. The sort of relationships Prospit has are much more... personal. They're close like this. Friends are a thing, affections are a thing in “marriage,” apparently, and overall... people don't judge you as much. John says people get picked on now and then by people who like to all conform to some standard, but the different kids often pull out ahead. There was a bit of bitterness when he said that, though.

John seems to look pretty ordinary, but he's among those different people, too. He's mentioned that he doesn't have a lot of friends because he's kind of excitable and doesn't wear “in style” clothes. That people who need glasses to see are often picked on and called “nerds” – which didn't make sense because why would it be bad to be smart. According to everyone else though, he's a nerd. People pick on him for that, and because he likes old stuff like cheesy movie classics.

The smile turns into a slight frown. How could anyone not like this kid? He's friendly and accepting and willing to put anything on the line for someone he barely knows, he's unique and he's funny and he's smart and optimistic, he knows when to joke and when to play it serious, and he's just..

The best person I've ever met.

..Who barely knows me.

Apparently I've been staring too long because when John finishes the level he turns and gives me a weird look. “What's the frown for?”

“Red.”

“..Huh?”

“My favorite color is red.”

He laughs, pausing the game. “Well, I like blue and green.”

“Totally never would have guessed with how everything you own is one of those two colors.”

“Shut up, it's a form of expression!” he sticks out his tongue in retaliation. “So, any particular reason you want to share deep, personal things about yourself like your favorite color?”

I look away for a moment, then lay back on the couch to get comfortable. “We just.. we hang out all the time and we've known each other for a week and apparently I'm going to be here for awhile and we're going to be the broiest of bros.. but we don't know a lot about each other, ya know?”

He looks at me for a moment in silence before looking away too. There's a small pause and I wonder if I said something wrong before he speaks up.

“Magic tricks. I use to be really into magic tricks – those things that look impossible that you make happen – and I still kind of am.”

“Seems so innocent compared to how I use to try and preserve dead bugs and shit growing up. Everyone thought I was losing it, but seriously they just looked cool.”

He smiles, turning back to me, “neither of us are really normal, are we?”

“Partners in misfit crime.”

“That's why we'll be the broiest of bros!”

“Yeah.” I smile back without moving. “But.. seriously though, my life has been pretty boring.. tell me about yours.”

He hums quietly in thought, dragging one of his legs back and forth across the carpet, before he answers. “I like trying to make computer programs but I'm not that good at it. Playing the piano is fun and sometimes I write my own music for it. Video games are really cool, and it would be awesome if we could play more of those some time.. it'd be cool if you could get good and be my gaming buddy! And...” he quirks his mouth to the side, seeming a bit unsure, “I like a lot of movies people tend to hate. I think I mentioned that. They're good to _me_ , though! Everyone else can suck it.”

I laugh, agreeing with him silently, because I'm sure if he liked those movies I'd like to watch them with him someday. “I really liked trying to make up songs too. I also liked trying to draw to capture images forever.. I didn't like seeing something awesome and then knowing I wasn't going to see it again, but I can't draw things very realistically.”

“Did you ever have a camera?”

“..No? I didn't have anyone I needed to watch or anything, I had no reason to get one.”

“No no, that's a recording camera.. I mean, like, a picture taking camera. A lot of people have them here.” Before I can respond, he's up on his feet with a quick “wait here a sec” as he bounds upstairs and returns with a small black device in his hands. “This is my camera. I never really use it – you wanna try it out?”

“..What exactly does it do? Just.. remember pictures?”

He grins wide. “Something like that! Here, try it out..” he hands it over carefully, pressing a button as he does so that makes a small screen light up, displaying a picture of the table in front of me, “this shows what the picture will be, and if you press this button up here it will keep the picture forever!”

“Keep it forever, huh? Like.. it freezes the moment or something?”

“Yup! It's pretty cool, but I'm just not the best at photography. It sounds like you'd like it, though.”

I nod, smiling along with him as I raise the camera to my face and snap a quick picture of his face. John's changed my life in so many ways in so little time; he deserves to smile like that. I'm keeping that picture. That smile's mine forever now.

 

–

–

–

 

“Dave, wake up, wake up!”

“Egbert what th-oh my god get off I wanna _sleep_ , dude!”

“Nope, you can't sleep. It's our first day back to school.. and I want you to come with us!”

“It's.. what?”

I sit up, making a heavy and warm John fall onto the floor and laugh despite the audible thud. “It's our first day back, we were on a winter break. Jade and I think you should come with us and see what high school's like, and we can introduce you to people! Rose agreed to come and Roxy's going with Jake and Jane to their college, which is like a school for older people.”

I almost say no. It's on the tip of my tongue and I'm ready to easily launch it, scoring myself extra hours of sweet sleep, but then he does this thing. He does this thing with his face where he looks sad and suddenly I feel guilty as hell, and I nod without thinking. “Sure, I'll come.” Fuck.

“Awesome! This'll be so sweet you have no idea man, I mean school's not always cool but it's better with friends.” He smiles, standing back up and grabbing my arm, pulling me out of bed too as I stumble forward to catch my footing.

“Hold your horses, I need clothes first.”

“ _fine_.” He huffs, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. “I'll meet you downstairs in a few and we can grab something quick to eat before we go.” And with that, he turns on his heel and rushes out of the room, and I hear the slight creak of the steps as he heads downstairs.

Two weeks in this place and it seemed okay, but I hadn't really met other people yet. The thought makes me a little anxious, but John seems to think it'll be fine, so it should be, right? He knows this place better than I do. At least I hope so, since he's lived here his whole life.

Reaching for a shirt laying next to the foot of my bed, I quickly get changed and head downstairs as well. I hear people in the kitchen and follow the scent of food until I crash into John as I round the corner. He shoves some weird pink frosted pastry in my face. “Take this and grab some milk.”

“What is it?”

“It's a Poptart. You'll love it, I swear.”

“Whatever.”

He walks past me and grabs a backpack by the door, and I notice Jade having just entered the living room with Rose. More footsteps carry from above and soon Jake, Jane and Roxy all pour in as well.

“All right, same schedule as usual I guess, eh? Janey and I will take my Jeep with Roxy, and Dad can drive you guys!”

“Aw, I wanted Dave to see what the Jeep's like!”

“There's time for that later, I'm sure your father would prefer to drive his own car, right?”

He – Dad, I guess everyone calls him? Even though they're not all his kids? – walks in and laughs. “Some other time, John. Let's get going, or you'll all be late!”

We all start to follow each other out the door as I take a bite of my-

my-

... _Holy shit Poptarts are the bomb._


	11. Someone Get This Man a Dictionary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came a little later than I had expected.. I wanted this chapter up for Valentine's day, but then got swamped and this chapter was getting long so I posted the first half as chapter 10. I've had a ton of work, but I decided to set aside some time to finish this in time for my friend's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU HOMESTUCK LITTLE SHIT. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

“He's from out of town and he's going to be staying with me, but he's not enrolled here yet, so he's just going to sit by me in class and try and learn stuff if that's alright?”

“Of course it's fine, John. And you'd be..?”

The small lady turns to me and smiles. I don't know what I'm expected to say but they're both staring at me now. I'd be what? I'm a guy? I'm seventeen? I'm confused? I'm not sure what you're asking of me?

John steps in as he notices my confusion. “-Sorry, Ms. Paint, his name is Dave. He's still getting use to this place a bit. It's a lot different than where he's from.”

Oh. The name thing. Right.

I hope Rose forgets that when Jade introduces her to the teacher too, so that I don't feel so stupid.

“Oh, it's alright if he's a little shy. As long as he doesn't disrupt class he's free to go to sit with you. There's some empty spots in the back where you usually sit, John.”

He beams, thanking her and pulling me past several people already seated as he goes to sit in front of a long desk, pulling me down to sit next to him. I can't help but look around the room as we go, examining the rows of desks and the few students who'd arrived early, and I don't really resist letting him guide me a bit forcefully.

Once I'm seated and see the girl in the pointy red glasses near the front of the room, staring at me with a crooked grin, however, I no longer feel so comfortable.

Neither of us can see each others' eyes through our glassware, so I can't even tell if she's still looking directly at me, but it's been a couple of minutes of at least staring in each other's general directions. I will not turn first. I'm winning this.

Or, I was going to win before John waved his hand in my face and I turned to look at him on reflex. Fuck, that chick's going to think I'm weak now. I'm probably her new target. I can hear her laughing.

John apparently hears too, because he looks up. “Hey, Terezi, why don't you sit back here with us and meet my friend!”

 _Fuck my life_.

“Hehe, I'd love to!” She practically _cackles_ as she stands and walks over to plop herself into the chair next to me. Yup, this definitely is uncomfortable. At least it can't get any worse. “Who's the delicious tasting kid, John?” Wow, Never mind. It got worse.

“This is Dave –- he's new to town and he's staying with me! Dave, this is Terezi. Don't mind some of the things she says, she's weird.”

“That's offensive! I better get Karkat to bring Kankri to school, he'll drown you in a lecture about trigger words like that.”

“Oh come on Terezi, you know I meant weird in a good way. Dave's weird too, I think you two will get along.”

“Woah woah dude, I think I'm feeling the triggers coming on now.” I'm not quite sure who Kankri is, but joining the teasing-John-band-wagon is always fun.

“Hehe! Maybe I should get a lawyer and we can settle this the legal way. I smell slander!”

“Oh my god you guys, I had enough trolling over the weekend!”

“No such thing as enough trolling, bro.”

“There _so_ is, my prankster's gambit is at an all time low, I'm coming for you later,” he glares at me, but I just laugh. He can _try_.

As we squabble, more and more people file into the room and eventually Ms. Paint clears her voice, asking for everyone to settle down so that class can start, and I turn toward her too. I'm admittedly kinda curious as to what sorts of things they teach at “schools.”

 

–

 

It's about the point where she mentions “homework” that I am no longer so interested in schools.

Learning is one thing, that's cool, but I don't want this to follow me home. There's other things to do besides learn all day. John reminds me that I'm not actually enrolled at this place though, so homework isn't something I'm required to do. I feel better about school again after that.

The first class he had dragged me to the teacher was talking about grammar errors in some sort of essay the class had turned in, and John told me it was an English class, which didn't make sense to me, because if you could speak English why would you need to take a class on it.

After that he took me to some other room where I had absolutely _no_ idea what was going on, because they _definitely_ weren't speaking English, and apparently weren't even allowed to. The teacher also sounded a lot different – sort of like Jake did, but not quite the same. I guessed he had another accent. All of the words sounded kind of angry to me, and sort of like everyone was growling with spit in their throats. About half way through I left the room to sit outside and wait for John, who came out about half an hour later and mentioned food.

I could definitely go for food right now.

Following him through the hall, I idly listen to excited conversations about how winter break was and what people planned to do this week. There's a small pain in my chest as I see people wrap their arms around friends and chat cheerfully, talking about having missed each other. Friendship is something.. I really wish I'd known growing up. There's so many new things in this place that I wish I had had.

I'm in the middle of staring off at two girls laughing as they hug each other tightly when John tugs on my arm, giving me a sympathetic look as he pulls me past a little faster. It's meant to be a distraction, I can tell, and it's not a very good one, but it's comforting.

John's my friend, I have him now.

“Hey, shit for brains!”

I flinch at the loud, irritated voice coming from somewhere behind us, but John seems to perk up and turn around to meet it. “Hey Karkat! How did break go?”

“Mildly less horrible than the public education system. Who's this douche?”

I quirk an eyebrow. “Excuse you, you seem to be the douche here.”

“At least I'm not dressed like a total tool.”

_..What's wrong with how I dress?_

“Hey, Karkat, cut it out. This is my friend Dave, and he's cool!”

“You heard the man.”

The short, angry looking teen scoffs, rolling his eyes and staring up at me for a moment before turning away. “Fine. Come on, let's go get food, I'm starving.”

Listening to this angry runt is not on my priority list, but John walks after him so I really have no other choice but to follow with a disapproving frown. Once we're fully in the cafeteria though, I can see where they're heading –- Rose, Jade, and Terezi are all seated together at a larger table near the back of the room with a few other people I don't know. The frown disappears; Terezi and I had spent most of class messing with John, and I had deemed her to not be as bad as I thought. Maybe she would like to start up another round of bothering him during lunch.

Glancing at John as we arrive at the table, I decide that maybe he needs a break instead. I've been pestering him a lot over the past few days, so I guess I could tone it down at school. There's enough to focus on here without me adding to it.

Karkat sits down directly across from Terezi and I sit between John and Jade, the latter of which promptly turns and practically demands to know how my day has been so far. If I've learned anything about this family since I've been here, it's that Jade can be aggressively friendly.

That combination of words probably won't ever truly make sense to anyone until they've met someone like Jade Harley.

With that in mind, the meal is anything but quiet. Jade decides to lead a group discussion about the merits of bringing animals into the school to relieve stress, while Terezi laughs along and adds that she'll gladly be the attorney for her noble cause. Surprisingly, Karkat has been mostly quiet since we sat down, and only really interacts every once in awhile by looking up as Terezi and Jade throw banter back and forth. Rose and some other girl, who was introduced as Kanaya, pretty much keep to themselves at one end of the table while the rest of us duke it out in an unspoken contest of who can be the loudest.

The whole thing is disorienting and a bit chaotic, but that makes it all the more indulging.

Looking over at John, I notice the wide smile on his face as he joins in with Jade and Terezi.

His smile seems different than theirs; they all seem friendly, but John's just.. seems different. I can't put my finger on what it is. It just gives me a different feeling. Maybe I'll ask him what that's about later.

But for now, lunch is ending and everyone is splitting up to head back to class. Rose, Jade, Kanaya, and Terezi head off down the hall we came from and John and I walk off in the other direction with Karkat and Sollux, another guy who had been at the table.

Everything is quiet again before we reach an empty hall, far away from the cafeteria. Sollux breaks the silence.

“Tho..” It'll probably take me awhile to get used to that accent thing, too. He pronounces things differently. John said it's not an accent, but it's easier for me to remember it as one. “Karkat, when are you finally going to admit that you have a cruthh on Terezi?”

“W-what?” Karkat turns on him and stammers, “How many times do I have to deny this bullshit for you two to get the idea through your thick skulls!”

John scoffs. “Oh, you so have a crush.”

“You two always bring this up, and I don't understand why!”

Sollux rolls his eyes. “Becauthe it'th tho obviouth, man.”

“How in the _hell_ is this non-existent thing _obvious_?”

Both John and Sollux laugh, and then John holds up a finger. “Well, for one, you always look at her differently. When she speaks it's like she's the only important person talking.”

I inwardly think that's normal; _good friends are suppose to be like that, right?_

“Also, you smile when she smiles. But only when she smiles, not when anyone else does.”

_Isn't that normal too?_

By this point Karkat has gone deep red. “I so do not! You're both lying!”

“-and,” Sollux cuts in to his complaint, “you follow her around like a lotht puppy.”

“And side with her. All the time.”

“And you're happier when you're around her.”

“And you never seem to be able to stay mad at her. And you pick on her but never mean it."

“And you only ever laugh around her. You trutht her more than anyone elthe, and you're only really yourthelf when thhe'th around; you let your guard down.. it'th tho obviouth, KK. You have a cruthh.”

"You fuckheads, that's just because I tolerate her more than you! I do the same with Jade!"

"So, what you're telling us is..."

"You have a cruthh on Jade?"

Karkat throws his hands in the air and nearly screams.

I swallow and walk a bit slower behind the three; Karkat seems livid and embarrassed, and John and Sollux keep repeating “Karkat's got a cru-sh!” while he tries to shush them.

I ignore their chanting.

All I can think of is how familiar all those points seemed.

I'm not.. quite sure what a crush is suppose to be, but it seems like something to be embarrassed of, judging by how Karkat's reacting to the taunting, anyway.

He's not what I'm worried about, though.

What I'm worried about is that I do all the things that they're saying Karkat does; but I don't do them with Terezi. I do them with my impending best bro.

His smiles always make me happy, like those are what I need to see each day. When he laughs at something I say, I feel special to have caused it. I want to be closer to him than anyone else, and I don't care what anyone else may have to say about that.

He's the only one I open myself up to, even if I've only known him for a few weeks.

My confused eyes wander up to look at John again, and it makes me feel a little more calm.

It's then that I decide that I don't want to stop doing those things, even if it's suppose to be embarrassing to act like that. I have that freedom here; I can do what I want, and I want to keep doing this. It feels right, even if I'm not really certain what a “crush” is – if it's what they're describing, I have one. And I like having it.

So..

I guess I have a crush on John.

Fuck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... it starts. IT'S ALIVE! *crying laughter in the distance*
> 
> I'm still deciding how long this whole thing is going to be, but I know how I want it to end; just need to decide on some scenes here and there. It's hard to believe I've written so much of this -- I remember back to when it was still a small little jotted down idea on notepad. This story has endured a long hiatus, but hopefully we can minimize those before this whole ride is over!
> 
> As always, I love my readers and love comments, and I hope to get chapter 12 going soon!
> 
> EDIT: I forgot to add recommendations again.. *hits head against wall repeatedly* I know I forgot to add one last chapter too, so I'll add two again:  
> First is "Listen As My Watch Unwinds," a JohnDave by zenelly. It's a blind!John premise and it's really cute (the ending is my favorite thing in the world you have no idea). It can be found here http://archiveofourown.org/works/415101/chapters/689583  
> The second is "A River In Egypt" by a_stands_for, and basically the summary is "John thinks he's perfectly straight. He's wrong." I may or may not have reread it right before putting the link here. It can be found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/372876


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